Page 61 of Just Wait

A fear of turning into them is why I keep such tight control over myself. It’s a tightrope, but I haven’t lost myself yet.

I take breaks, and if I start craving something, I cut myself off cold turkey.

You’re rationalizing again.

Fuck.

I probably am.

Lumen laughs at something Malcolm says, swaying along to our music that plays in the background to keep the crowd hyped.

Mal has done a solid job of keeping Lumen entertained while also not ignoring the fans. That’s another tightrope. He’s fixated on her, and eventually the masses will notice. He’s always been flighty, so seeing him focus on anything for more than a day is impressive.

I’m just not sure how long it’ll last.

Lumen has triggered my instincts, and that’s messy for all of us.

I’m a fluke of genetics.

An alpha born from two betas, and that goes back at least two generations on each side. It was a shock to everyone when I presented.

Not having grown up in a pack, I have no idea how pack dynamics work, but Mal and Riser are as close to packmates as I’ve found. That still doesn’t mean Malcolm will react well when he finds out I’m equally drawn to Lumen.

She trusted me to walk her through her panic attack, and it rewired my fucking brain chemistry.

The woman who’s been inching closer on the couch makes her move, climbing onto my lap.

I frown, and my hands fall to her waist as she wobbles. “Careful.”

“Can I get a selfie?” she asks, beaming. “I love you guys so much. ‘Echoes’ and ‘Heartbreaker’ are two of my all-time favorite songs.”

“Thank you,” I say sincerely.

The fans are why we’re here. The hard part comes in when there are so many of them in comparison to us. It can get overwhelming, especially the ones who act like they know us personally because they like our music.

I get it.

We’re a once-in-a-lifetime experience for them, and I can make or break that with my attitude. It’s thirty seconds of my day, but to the fans, it’s something they’ll talk about long after I’ve forgotten her face.

“Sure, we can do a selfie,” I say, nodding. “It’ll be easier if you’re next to me.” Pulling my hand off her waist, I pat the couch, trying to lure her off me.

It doesn’t work.

She spins around on my lap, lying back against my chest. Her phone appears, and she snaps a handful of pictures.

“You’re so much nicer than I thought you would be, based on what I’ve read on the forums. I must have caught you on a good night.” She laughs awkwardly. “Can you introduce me to Malcolm?”

“Thanks.” I chuckle as she climbs off my lap. “Go on over. He doesn’t bite, I promise.”

See?

This is the kind of interaction that I can stand. It’s when someone climbs into my lap and has to be physically removed by security that pisses me off.

Those are only topped by the ones who try to shove their hands down my pants. With how tight my jeans are, they never get very far, but it’s still uncalled for.

The woman waves and heads over to Mal while I refocus on Lumen. She’s talking to a man I’ve never seen before, and he hands her a red cup. She takes it, holding it as she smiles and nods.

My head tilts, and my brow furrows so deeply I can feel it. No woman should ever take a drink from a man she doesn’t know.