Page 220 of Just Wait

I tried.

At the end of the day, I have to accept that I did what I could.

I listened in when Lumen did the intake with the addiction support agency. They repeatedly told her that rehab doesn’t stick unless the person in question makes the choice to change.

They have to be fed up enough with the cycle of highs and lows that they’re willing to be uncomfortable for a while with the understanding that things will be better on the other side.

That, or they have to hit rock bottom and have nothing left to lose.

Andrew isn’t there yet, and I have to accept that he might never be.

We’re flying out tomorrow, but we’re sticking around in Ohio for one more night.

Kincaid drops us off at the hotel, and I’m too tired to question where he’s going.

Lumen stays glued to my side, taking a shower with me and curling up next to me on the bed once we’re done. She doesn’t try to talk, but she does lean her head against my shoulder as she interlinks our fingers.

“I’m okay.” I smile, tilting my face to hers. “But I won’t ever turn down cuddling with you.”

“How about me?” Mal says, climbing onto the bed on my other side. “Can I get in on this snuggle action?” He doesn’t wait for a response as he tosses his arm around me, resting his hand on Lumen’s shoulder. “Cuddle with me, fucker.”

I roll my eyes but lean against Mal’s chest. “I’m fine, you guys.”

“Obviously,” Mal says. “However, I’m feeling very emotionally needy. Love me. Cuddle me. Tell me I’m pretty.”

Lumen snorts, and I laugh.

“All right,” Mal says, picking up the remote. “Let’s find something to binge. I’m so fucking ready to catch up on all the movies and shows that we’ve missed out on during the last few months.”

Kincaid comes in a few minutes later with his arms loaded down with bags of takeout. He smirks and heads over to the table. “I got your favorite.”

I nod as my chest gets tight.

Today wasn’t easy, but life isn’t always sunshine and roses. There was a time when I thought I didn’t want to do this whole living thing anymore. If only I’d known then what I know now. Each and every pain is temporary, but you don’t get to see that if you give up along the way.

I’m especially blessed because I have three people I love to keep me company on those days when I would normally push the world away.

Epilogue

Malcolm

A Year Later

Idon’t think I’ve ever been as nervous during a show as I am right this second. Even on our first tour, I was more excited than intimidated, but this shit is just straight-up terrifying.

My parents are in the front row, and my mom is on camera duty. Riser’s family pack is also in the audience. Between his three little sisters, I’m sure they’ll get some worthy shots.

Wren is going to come out on stage and take pictures. She knows how to manage a social media filter, so I’m sure we’ll be fine. She’s also brave enough to tell us if one of our arms is in the way or to move because she can’t get all of us in a shot.

She and Tennyson still bicker like they can’t decide if they want to fuck each other’s brains out or strangle the other, but she joined us on the same tour Lumen did and just never left.

Parish and Tennyson went home with her when we visited Andrew in Ohio, and she was with them when they met us in Florida to practice.

Honestly?

I’m happy she stuck around so Lumen never had to deal with a groupie parade.

The thought reminds me of Andrew, and a pang of sadness hits my gut. He never reached out to us or any of the facilities. While it was hard on Ry, he came to terms with it along the way.