Page 154 of Just Wait

“It is what it is.” I shrug. “I know I tried to be there for him, but he wouldn’t let me in.”

“We all have demons we’re carrying,” she whispers. “It’s hard. I’m afraid if I offer, and my dad chooses not to go, that I’ll resent him even more than I already do. Then I feel like if I spend all that money, and it doesn’t stick, that I’ll hate him for it. I’m also worried that if I don’t offer, I’ll regret it.”

My stomach tightens.

The guys and I could all chip in and fund her dad’s rehab stint without blinking an eye, but I think offering now would be the wrong call.

I know what it’s like to constantly have to worry about money. It can become a matter of pride to be able to afford things without help. Still, if this ends up lasting, it’s something we could do to show her that we want to help alleviate some of her worries.

“You don’t have the check yet, so that’s not something you have to worry about right this second,” I tell her, lowering my head to the pillow. “But I’m here if you want to talk about it some more.”

She nods. “Me too, except about Andrew. Not to change the subject, but your purr is so relaxing. I love it.”

“Enjoy it, beautiful,” I murmur, burying my nose in her hair.

Though being snuggled with her is exactly where I want to be, my head is still the enemy. I’ve blamed myself a lot for how everything went down with Drew, but I also know that I couldn’t force him to accept my help.

Every individual is responsible for their own choices. As much as I want to be a lifeline to him, I can’t be if he won’t let me.

All I know is, I’m finally in a better place. I’m not going down the same road.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Malcolm

Blah.

These masks are the worst.

Kincaid was right.

I’m not sure how I missed the degree to which they suck, but it’s going to be a long week.

We made it to Charlotte.

On the bright side, the amphitheater is incredible. It’s one of my favorite places to perform, at least on the East Coast. It’s outdoors, and tonight is the first night we’ll have the aerial performers back. With them hanging from poles, silks, and hoops above our heads, there can be no pyrotechnics, which is going to be a nice change. We might actually be able to feel the cool breeze.

Before the last tour, we spent like ten days practicing our sets with the aerial performers acting out their routines above our heads. Since we only have them for a week, we’ve spent all afternoon practicing the set and coordinating to ensure we won’t be in their way when they let themselves unravel practically to the stage floor.

Except, wardrobe brought us our new masks for the week during the final run-through.

Now I’m pouty.

They’re crazy claustrophobic, and it’s hard to see anything. The neon glow is pretty cool, and it’s going to look sick when they’re lit up and the aerial performers are wearing the glowing blinking lights…

But I like my normal wolf mask.

I love that the mouth opens and closes.

I’m used to singing in it.

It’s fine.

I guess.

We only have to wear them for the next five or six shows, but somehow I got stuck with the bright pink one.

Now, I can rock the fuck out of some pink. It’s one of my favorite colors, but I’m pissed because mine is the most boring one.