Page 75 of A Don & His Doll

“Why are you punishing yourself, and stopping people from showing you love if that’s what they want to do? This is New York, Syn. You know you can get conjugal visits,” Promise whispered.

Syn chuckled. “You wild as hell, sis. A nigga ain’t never pressed ‘bout no pussy. I get that shit whenever I want in here,” Syn revealed. “I run shit in this prison,” he boasted.

Promise shook her head because she wasn’t surprised. “What’s your plan when you get released? Have you decided which woman you wanna be with?”

“Amor will always be my choice, but if I can’t have her,” he cracked his knuckles. “A nigga gon’ stay single, be the best father I can be to my kids, focus on my music, and the barbershop.” He shrugged.

“All that sounds good, but…nevermind,” Promise cut her sentence short because she didn’t want to make Syn feel like she was judging him.

“But what?” Syn shot back. “You ain’t gotta walk on eggshells wit’ me.”

“You say the things you named are going to be your focus, but I’m curious to know what shifted?” Promise said. “Even listening to you right now, I’m really not convinced.”

“I got distracted,” Syn said. “It was one thing to lie to Amor because I convinced myself I was protecting her, but the shit got out of hand when I started believing my own lies. Shit started fallin’ apart faster than I could fix the shit, and I ended up losing my wife. All she ever wanted was the best for a nigga, but I couldn’t see past what I was familiar wit’. I thought gettin’ married and havin’ kids would be enough, but it wasn’t.”

“And how is it now, and you’re doing the same things you was doing when you were on the outside?” Promise asked.

“I do this shit to pass time in here, but it ain’t a part of me no more. I want my family back. I know it may seem far-fetched, but I want all my kids under the same roof, and I want to create a new normal.”

“I can respect that,” Promise stated. “I really pray it all works out in your favor.”

“From your mouth to Gods’ ears. I know He’ll hear you before he hear a nigga like me.” Syn laughed, raising his hands in the air.

“Crazy ass. You need Jesus, bro,” Promise laughed and said.

“Oh yea, before I forget. Can you tell Roe I need him to make that run for me? He’ll know what that means,” Syn asked.

Promise nodded and lowered her head, feeling herself getting emotional at the mention of Monroe’s name. Syn had been trying to mind his business, but they were all like family.

“I’ll let him know, but lately he’s been preoccupied with Sienna, who’s back from the dead, and their daughter,” she unapologetically divulged.

The look on Syn’s face told a story his words never could, not to Promise anyway. “Run that back again?”

“You heard me right. She’s alive, had Monroe’s daughter, and his crazy ass mother was behind it all,” Promise continued, sitting back, crossing her arms.

“Damn sis,” Syn said, his mind traveling back in time. “Give him some grace, sis. I know shit seem fucked up right now, but,” Syn paused, choosing his words wisely. “He gone make it right.”

“I hope you’re right,” Promise’s voice cracked, but she quickly got herself together because this wasn’t the time or the place.

“A’ight sis. That’s my time,” Syn said, hearing the officer tap the door.

Promise nodded, quickly turning to her laptop to log their visit. Once done, she took a deep breath, grabbed her bag from the bottom drawer in her desk, and grabbed the four-pack of Clear Blue pregnancy tests that she purchased on her way to work. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw her cycle, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was pregnant. Rising to her feet, she locked her office door, then slipped into the bathroom that was connected to her office.

“Lord, I know you know what’s best… I trust you with every outcome,” Promise prayed, then opened the box, so she could quickly pee in the small cup, and dip one of the pregnancy tests in before sealing it up.

Impatiently, she waited for what seemed like the longest three minutes of her life after washing her hands. She paced the floor, and watched the clock on her phone until it said 4:44 pm. Anxiously she sat her phone down, closed her eyes, and drug her hands down her face. Bitch! Get it together. No matter what that test says, you’ll be fine regardless. Promise coached herself because as bad as she wanted to call her best friend, Rae, and her mother, she didn’t feel like explaining anything about why Monroe wasn’t present. Sighing deeply, she picked up the test and read the results.

PREGNANT.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” her hands shook as she repeated the words over and over again. “God, why now? This isn’t the worst timing ever,” she whispered, reaching for the other three tests to see if they’d say the same thing, because if they didn’t, then and only then could Promise breathe easy. She dipped them all then waited to see the results, this time she didn’t take her eyes off of them. To her surprise, the result didn’t take three minutes, it came in less than two minutes.

PREGNANT. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.

“What the hell,” she said in disbelief. “I need to call Monroe,” she murmured, quickly scrolling and tapping his contact.

The phone rang once, then went straight to the voicemail that he’d never taken the time to set up. Promise blew out a sharp breath, and called back again to no avail. She tried one more time, and still there was no answer. Why the hell is your phone off? She thought, switching over to their text thread. Promise reread the last text he’d sent her again, and her response from this morning.

Monroe: Just made it to the crib, Doll. Missin’ my baby already.