Page 21 of A Don & His Doll

"That's a fact, Syn," Promise agreed. "But, that's because I'ma let them know by the way I carry myself. You don't have to protect me. All you have to do is stay focused, and come home to your babies," Promise confirmed.

It got so silent in the room after that statement you could hear a pin drop.

"How are you really holding up in here, Syncere? Your smile is still in place, and you don't look nothing like what you're going through. That in itself is commendable, but you're carrying a heavy weight. I can feel it," Promise pried, completely tapped in, and Syncere couldn't deny it.

Syn to a deep breath then released it. He wasn't keen on exposing his heart, but he was drowning, and needed some help. "Everything is fucked up, and I'm the cause of it all. By the time I saw myself, I was in too fuckin' deep, and could see myself out of the bullshit I created,” he admitted. “Now I'm in here, and ain't shit I can do about it. Everybody tellin' me don't worry about what's goin' on out there, but how can I not?" he said, feeling overwhelmed. "Amor is the love of my life, but I hurt her, and I'on know if she'll ever forgive a nigga."

"And the other women... What about them, and the kids you have with them?" Promise asked.

“Like I said, I love my kids. I'll never deny them."

Promise listened and she didn't judge. There was a lot she could say, but she didn't speak right away. She was wise enough to know that what was most important was saying the right thing at the right time. She didn't believe in wasting her words, talking in circles, and at the end nothing changed.

"I hear you loud and clear," Promise said. "But what concerns me most is how you mentioned everyone else... all these situations taking place around you, but until you examine your own patterns, the way you process, and why you do the things you do... nothing will change. You have to get real and face yourself. Ask yourself those hard questions. You have to work on you first, then you can think about life with someone else."

Syn leaned back slightly, processing.

“If the mindset that created those situations doesn’t shift, the outcomes won’t either,” Promise continued. “Accountability isn’t punishment… It's clarity.”

Syn listened attentively because Promise wasn’t making him feel like his shit was acceptable. She wasn’t telling him to deal with the chaos he was responsible for. She was offering him the type of wisdom and advice that wasn’t easy, but yielded lasting results. That’s what he needed.

“You have time right now that most people avoid giving themselves. Identify where you fell off with yourself. When your heart broke, and you swept it under the rug with the audacity to move on with life like nothing happened.”

Syn rubbed his hands together slowly.

Promise continued. “You can’t build healthy relationships with anyone if your heart ain’t right, Syn.”

Silence returned, but this time it felt reflective rather than tense.

The hour had been well spent, and Promise prayed that Syn would be willing to do the work necessary, not just to get his family back, but to get back to a place of true joy, contentment, and wholeness.

“Thank you, Sis. You done put a whole lot of shit on a nigga mind today. I appreciate you. Real shit,” Syn stood and said when he heard the Officer’s keys dangling in a short distance. “That’s my time.”

“It is,” Promise agreed. “Will I see you in class this afternoon?”

“Yea, I’ll be there to support,” Syn said, turning to walk towards the door.

Promise nodded, then turned her attention to her MacBook to enter in her notes.

“Ms. Montgomery,” the officer called from the door again. “Are you ready for the next inmate to come down?”

“Yes, that’ll be fine. Thank you,” Promise replied, looking up briefly, then refocused on the screen ahead of her.

Things had changed so drastically when Monroe Sr. had died, and even more when Mitch got locked up. It was a heavy burden to carry the family legacy on her back, but she was left with no other alternatives that made sense. Like any other decent mother, Macie had high hopes and dreams for her son that didn’t involve him getting entangled with a street lifestyle, but that was the thing when the cards couldn’t be controlled. There were only two choices after that. Play that shit to win, or die by the wayside.

Macie and Monroe were both accustomed to the finer things in life, and whether the men who held it all together were dead or alive, Macie was determined to provide the same consistency. So she sacrificed the soft life she loved, wrapped herself in the finest threads, and led the family organization with an iron fist just as her late husband had taught her to do in case anything ever happened to him. She was the queen, and it was time for Monroe to become the King with no distractions. Sienna had to go, there was no other way. Macie was playing chess, and this part of the game was called process elimination. She knew this move was going to be a hurtful one, but the beast that would rise within Monroe was gonna make it all worth it.

The thoughts running through Macie’s mind were deep as she let herself in Sienna’s home without as much as a call or previous text to let her know she was coming. It was one of Macie’s ways of keeping Sienna in constant fear of her. Not knowing when she’d appear and cause chaos, or force her to make decisions that only benefitted her. Decisions that only made life convenient for her.

“Mama Macie!” Monae exclaimed as soon as Macie closed the door.

“Hey, sweetie! How have you been?” Macie joyfully exclaimed, genuinely happy to see her granddaughter. “Here you go,” she smiled, handing Monae three designer bags full of clothes and shoes.

“Thanks, Mama Macie,” Monae stated, half looking through the bag.

“I’d love to take the credit for all the nice things in that bag, but those gifts are from your father,” Macie looked right in her granddaughter's innocent eyes and lied without a hint of remorse.

She’d been lying for so long it had become easier for her to do it without thinking twice about it. Macie wished she didn’t have to be deceptive, but in her mind this was the only way.