Page 81 of Where Angels Fall

It doesn’t work.

She’s there, deep-rooted like a parasite I can’t get out. One with beautiful hazel eyes and the most angelic face. One with a lithe body that takes me to heaven, and timid words that ruin me. One with more strength than she even knows.

And I’ve scared her. I’ve scared her away. The one person who, for God knows why, didn’t view me as the monster that I know I am.

Maybe it’s for the best.

This never could have lasted, this tiny slice of heaven with my perfect little angel. But my chest aches and the lump in my throat won’t fade. The smell of blood clogs my senses but all I can smell is her vanilla and lavender scent.

“Fuck!” I yell into my hands.

“Boss,” a familiar voice sounds behind me, but I don’t have the strength to pull myself together.

Boots stop a few metres away. Seconds pass. The dock hums around us, waves slapping metal in a slow, mocking rhythm. The world keeps fucking moving, even when mine feels like it’s split clean in half.

“Matt cleaned her up. Made sure she got home safe.”

The words said by my brother, who never speaks unless necessary, sink into my skin and comfort me in a way I didn’t think possible. She’s safe. Even from me.

My fingers curl tighter into my hair, my teeth grinding so hard I’m surprised they aren’t dust.

When he finally speaks again, it’s quieter.

“You wanted her to see.”

I huff out a sharp, broken laugh. “Did I?”

Silence. Minutes pass in silence. I don’t expect another word from Kai, those few more than I have heard in months.

“She didn’t break,” he says. The words are blunt, no inflection, no judgement, just facts.

And then he walks away, boots shifting over concrete.

Then I decide. I need my angel. I need the sense of calmness and light. I need her goodness.

I’m back in my apartment in a blur, watching the water turn red in my shower, scrubbing my skin raw.

The monster inside my chest is banging its violent hands against my ribcage. It feels stronger and more feral than it has in a long time. My knuckles are split, my palms torn open from gripping the knife too tightly, and no matter how many times I drag the soap over my body, the stink of copper clings. My skin burns from the scrubbing, but the filth isn’t on the surface... It’s in me.

There’s blood under my nails, blood in my teeth, blood in my hair. And when I close my eyes, I see her, soaked in a man’s blood. Blood marring her perfect skin. Blood on her expensive clothing. Blood glimmering in the reflection of her glassy eyes.

I know I should feel guilt for the amount of blood I’ve shed in my lifetime. I should feel sick and remorseful. Instead, all I feel is the itch to do it again. An itch to kill anyone who threatens me, my brothers, or my angel.

That’s why I need her. My angel. She’s the only one who reminds me that I’m human, the only thing that drags me back from the edge. Without her, I’m nothing but the monster clawing its way out of my chest.

So I’ll see her. I’ll let her light burn through this filth, even if it’s only for a moment. Then I’ll go back into the dark and finish this war, once and for all.

Zeke’s underground. And sooner than later, I’ll drag him into the daylight.

Maddison will be at work now, my smart little angel. But I’ll be quick. I just need to inhale the scent of her vanilla and honey-scented hair and press my lips against her warm skin. Just for a second to feel her pulse against mine and burn the look of those beautiful eyes into my memory.

Then I’ll do what I need to do.

The building she works at is enormous, over the top, and pretnetious. Nothing but the best for the Dallys, I suppose. A far cry from the club. Instead of the sticky, chipping wooden floors, glistening marble floors glare back at me without so much as a smudge.

Well, until I step foot on it.

The person looking up at me from the reflection in the glossy floor doesn’t look like he belongs here. Not in the slightest. My eyes are wild, and my hair is wet with damp curls. My vest is still spattered with blood, blending into the dark leather. Clenching my fists and gritting my teeth, I force my chin up.