Page 113 of Wicked Ruin

“You don’t.” My hands are clenched into fists, and my heart is beating too fast. My cheeks feel hot, and I want to break something. “You can’t. Because you’re the one who gets to go home, and I’m the one who watches you drive away. And I’ve been telling myself I understand that, that I’m not supposed to want more than this. But tonight? When she threatened me? I thought, she’s right. I’m not necessary. I’m a liability.”

“You are not a liability.” He reaches for me, but I dodge his touch.

“I mean it. Whatever this is”—I gesture between us, at the car, at everything—“I need you to let it go. All of it. The check-ins and driving me home, and the… the…” My voice clogs. “The texts. It’s killing me slowly, Declan. And I think you know that.”

“Bridget.”

“Let me go.” I’m proud of the fact that my voice doesn’t break. “Please. Just let me go. Let us go.” Him, me, the baby, all of it.

I know him well enough to know that he’s going to fight for me, and I don’t want to hear it.

I put my hand on the car door handle.

“Don’t touch that fucking door.”

“Don’t fucking threaten me.”

“Bridget, listen to me.” He grabs my hand. “Listen. Valentina knows. She found your jumper in the back of my car. She doesn't fucking care. She just wants me to still marry her.”

I stare at him. “When the fuck were you going to tell me? Or were you abdicating that to me? Did you want me to walk into the family house and say, 'Hey, Declan's mistress is here'?”

“It's not like that.”

“Did it somehow not occur to you that I needed that information? That I’m scared of her knowing?”

“That’s not going to happen.” I sigh.

“It isn’t just the alliance, Bridget. For fuck’s sake. It’s all about you and always has been.”

He’s got my attention now, even if I’m still seeing through a red haze of fury. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He drags a hand down his face. “I didn’t want to tell you. When your parents betrayed the family, do you know what was supposed to happen to you? Do you?”

I stare at him. Cold fingers of fear trickle down my spine. “No,” I say in a small voice. “What?”

“You were supposed to be punished with them. There was no reason for you not to be, not according to the fucking law that binds every one of us. Being Erin’s sister didn’t grant you immunity. The only one who had immunity was Erin because she was married to Cavin.”

I stare, dumbfounded. What did he do?

“But you know what? Fuck the alliance.”

“Declan, no. You can’t do that. It would start a war—you know it would. And it would put everyone we both love in jeopardy. Even my sister.”

“I love you, Bridget. All I want is you. You and this baby that’s ours.”

I sigh and blink hard. If he breaks the alliance with Valentina, everyone’s in danger, including my sister and me, and he knows that. He hasn’t thought this through. I have to walk away.

I lean in. Tears swim in my eyes, and my vision blurs. “And I love you. That’s why you have to let me go.”

He leans over, framing my face with his hands, and kisses me. It’s salty and bittersweet, and I never want it to end.

“I need to go.” I don’t know if he understands how far away I need to be.

“Bridget, you can’t⁠—”

The screen in his car lights up with a call from Seamus. “Fuck.”

I know the rules. I know how this works. He’s obligated to answer when Seamus calls him. So that’s my out.