Page 102 of Wicked Ruin

I think about the dinner. About the way Valentina smiled, sitting with her hands in her lap, her expression smoothing a half beat too late. It seems like she's acting, and I don't understand the intricacies of it. Don’t we all perform when we’re out of place? And why is she nothing like the person she is online?

“I don't know,” Erin says, “but here's what little I do. Cavin's been trying to reach her family and is getting nowhere—her brothers are always traveling, always unavailable. She's here, the wedding's in place, and she's pushing to move the date up.”

“But is it just the way things always are with the McCarthys? I mean, we know who they are, Erin.” And we were raised in the Irish mob ourselves, though our family was smaller and less influential. We’re not like “normal” people.

“Don’t know. Listen.” She straightens. “We're going to find you somewhere safe. I don't know exactly how or where, but we will.” She frowns. “You know, I advocated my arse off for you to be here. Pushed for it and fought for it, and Seamus wasn't having any of it until…” She blows out a breath. “Until I told him that you were my sister. And if I was staying, so were you. And you know the McCarthys will not have anything to do with divorce.”

She looks at me steadily. “Seamus has always held the line where the family's concerned. It's not really cruelty; it's just the way things are. Expected. It’s very black and white, so I don’t blame them, not really. Our father made choices, and in their world, those choices have consequences. Exile was a mercy from the beginning, practically revolutionary for him, going from execution to exile. But you know, it wasn't Cavin or me who talked him out of it, Bridget. It was Declan.”

I blink. “What are you talking about?”

“You know Declan's always been loyal to his family,” she says, “but he's loyal to you in a way that nobody else really understands.”

I understand it. Every divination card I’ve pulled, every tea leaf I’ve read, every sign I’ve looked for from the universe has said the same thing over and over: soulmates. I twist the crystal around my neck. It’s a pale pink, the crystal of love. I know Declan rolls his eyes and Cavin mocks, but my intuition knows best. And they’re… well, they’re men.

The kitchen is warm, and outside it's begun to rain, that soft Irish rain that's so common it's a backdrop, but it's beautiful and misty, and I love it. I love this place.

“Declan did?”

“Aye. We don’t quite know the intricacies or what it cost him, but Cavin says Declan had a private talk with Seamus, and that’s when Seamus changed his mind.”

I have a feeling he put something on the line to do it, but I don't know what. Because of course he would. That's what Declan does. He protects what's his.

And I'm his.

Except I'm not, am I? Not on paper. Not in any way that counts out loud. And yet here I am, kept safe by something I can't name, in a family that isn't mine by blood or by law, and he's the reason. I don't know how I know that. I just do.

What has he done? What did it cost him? I turn it over in my mind, unsure of what to do with my questions, because even if I asked him outright, would he tell me?

Probably not.

So instead, I change the subject.

“I can't believe I'm having a baby,” I say with a laugh that's half groan, half sob.

“I know,” she says, “but it's not exactly a disaster.”

“It's a total disaster, Erin.”

Then we're both laughing and both crying.

“Cavin will say something insufferable,” Erin says with an eye roll.

“Of course he will. I just hope he doesn’t kill Declan.”

Erin winces. “Right.”

“Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better, Erin.”

“Only telling you the truth.” She’s grimacing. “Have you ever seen the two of them fight? It’s not pretty.”

“Declan says Cavin can kick his arse.”

“Well,” she says, her brows raised. “Declan puts up a damn good fight.” Leaning closer, she nods. “But don’t worry.” She winks at me. “I'll deal with him. I’m the best one for the job.”

I can't help but laugh. It feels nice.

“We'll figure this out, sis,” she says. “We always do.”