Page 81 of Guilty as Sin

“What does that matter?”

“Answer the question,” I order. It’s the same question I’d ask any new recruit who claimed he’d killed someone.

“I seduced him,” she says through gritted teeth. Brutal honesty. “Told him I was into breath play and then strangled him with his own belt. Staged it like an autoerotic accident.”

Jesus, she’s brilliant. An asset indeed, and an unrepentant sinner to boot.

“Was he the only one?” I demand. It’s a confrontation now. If she wants me to let her in, then this is the test I’m setting.

“That I seduced or that I killed?” she asks, rising to meet me.

With both of us so close beneath the sheets, the heat between our bodies intensifies with each combative exchange. She’s challenging me to ask for her sexual history, but I don’t want to know it. My wife has never had a cock like mine before, and she’ll never have another cock again. That’s all that matters. But apparently I need to remind her of it. With my free hand, I pinch her nipple hard.

“That you killed.”

“Yes,” she tells the truth, gasping a little. “Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?” I let go, smoothing my thumb over her nipple, my way of telling her she’s doing well. Because she is doing well, however much I don’t like it.

“I wanted to kill the man who attacked me.” She narrows her ice-blue eyes. “But you robbed me of that pleasure.”

The word pleasure from her pouty lips makes my cock twitch. And she’s using it to describe the thrill of violence. All the more arousing. I want to reach down between us and show her what pleasure really is, then actually rob her of it. I’ve done it before.

“I will kill any man who tries to hurt my wife. It’s my duty to protect you.”

“And it’s my duty to protect you too,” she snaps. “I’m not going to sit around at home while you go out throwing yourself into danger. I don’t want to lose you any more than you want to lose me.”

“It isn’t safe,” I growl.

“Nothing in this life is safe. But what makes it even more dangerous is you putting yourself at risk. Risk that could be avoided if you’d just let me be at your side.”

She’s telling the truth, but not the whole truth. I almost missed her veiled threat.

I’m not going to sit around at home.

Even when I froze the elevator, she didn’t stay put. She climbed down all thirteen hundred steps to come after me. She slipped her guards. She’s fucking stubborn, I knew that right away. She’ll follow my orders, but only up to a point. If she gets it into her head to act on something by herself, she will.

She’s too much like me. My equal in so many ways.

I take a deep breath in. If she’s at my side, then at least I can keep her in my sight. It’s still too dangerous for my liking. But like she said, Nothing in this life is safe.

“Alright,” I say, letting out my breath. “But not because you’ve earned it.”

“Excuse me?” Her dark brows pinch together.

She’s been so intent on proving herself that we’ve both missed the bigger picture. Yes, she’s capable and deadly. And yes, I’ve admired every talent that I’ve seen from her. But it’s how those pieces fit together as a whole. I’m so damn detail-oriented that it took me too long to realize.

I want this woman at my side for the rest of my life.

“Because you’re you,” I tell her. “Because you’re me.”

Chapter 38

Cora

Brady’s way of involving me is to assign me patrol duty on the South Side. Fucking patrol duty. He informs me that it’s what all O’Sullivan recruits begin on, not just to prove themselves before leveling up, but to acclimate them to the more tedious aspects of the life.

I counter that I grew up in the life, although I don’t mention that our father never let me or Charlotte anywhere near foot soldier duty. And really, I tell Brady, I should be rising through the ranks faster since I’m sleeping with the boss. He is not amused.