She knew too well what it was like not to have a secure place to call home, one in
which she belonged without question.
However, as much as that possibility distressed her, Abigail could not regret
having the privacy to face a more personally terrifying prospect--the risk she was going
mad. Perhaps the Church was right in teaching her deafness meant she had an affliction
of the mind, that her fever had robbed her of her reason as well as her ability to hear.
Though why such an infirmity should take so many years to show itself, she could
not begin to comprehend.
Abigail refused to believe she was possessed by a demon, as the priest taught
such impediments indicated, but she could not deny something was amiss.
The night before, Abigail had once again been certain that she heard Talorc's
voice. It was a wonderful, masculine voice, one that made her giddy with warmth and filled
with joy. Even the memory of it caused her to lament her perpetual silence more intensely
than she had for many years. Only the voice could not be real, for just as in the hot springs
cave, she heard nothing else.
The voice had to be completely conjured by her imagination, which was a
disquieting enough thought. She refused to entertain the other possibility that the voice
was that of some demon that supposedly caused her deafness. The fever had stolen her
ability to hear and that was that.
According to Emily's friend the abbess, priests were too quick to point to a demon
when faced with the inexplicable. The learned woman had said so in one of her first letters
to Abigail. They had continued a correspondence with each other that Emily's move north
had forced Emily to drop.
Now, Abigail had no more notion of how to maintain the friendship than her sister
had done. It was the single relationship she truly regretted leaving behind. The abbess
had known of Abigail's deafness and never thought less of her for it. Other than Emily, the
abbess was the only person who had ever been so accepting.
However, for the first time since losing her hearing, Abigail felt a niggling worry that
the priests might actually be right. Because in addition to imagining she heard Talorc
once again shouting her name during climax, Abigail had also heard the howling of a wolf.