Page 599 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

as I gasp for air that isn’t there.

The page finally loads:

LEAKED “BABY CONTRACT” EXPOSES HEIRESS’S PAID SEX ARRANGEMENTS

and another link right below it:

THE SECRET LIFE OF ALLISON TAYLOR: LEAK BLOWS COVER ON FUTURE BILLIONAIRE CEO

I read it twice,

and though nausea hits me in waves,

my brain refuses to process it.

The Baby Contract is public.

The entire thing.

Allison Taylor.

Baby.

Every clause.

Every rule.

Every humiliating line I wrote

to keep my life from eating me alive.

They see a penis cap,

no kissing,

no intercourse.

They see limits,

restrictions,

payouts,

schedules.

They see the sex, but they don’t see why.

They don’t see the death, the grief, the abuse with Raymond’s hand between my thighs.

They don’t see fear or panic, or all the nights I spent over a toilet bowl, or all the times I fell asleep on the shower floor.

The longer I sit there,

the words blurring,

the more my hands shake.

Until the phone slips from my fingers,