Page 471 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

my throat’s closing up,

my eyes are burning.

I’ve been with men who were hungry for my body, who’ve taken from me… but I’ve never wanted this for myself before.

I’ve watched this fever in movies,

traced this heat across paperback pages,

fantasized about this kind of madness, wondering why my own skin always felt so barricaded. Sex has always been sketched with caution, checked for safety, run like a routine, while I clocked out for someone else’s pleasure. Intercourse was done for them.

But this is a demolition of the self.

And I’ve never held onto someone so bitingly,

so fiercely,

a scream to never let me go.

He fists my ass in one hand,

the other wrapping the back of my neck,

forearm braced against my spine.

Then he fucks into me deep,

his cock sunk to the base.

Warmth puddles, then ripples there,

like a hot stone sinking to the bottom.

My lips unzip, a moan bleeding out.

His next breath tears out of him, choked,

gets caught up in his teeth.

When he opens his heavy-lidded eyes,

they’re black and blown,

the whites rimmed red.

My hands slip at his shoulders,

claw at his back,

fist his hair for leverage.

He holds me down, nailing me to him,

and his tongue sweeps my mouth,

hot and wet as he thrusts into me.

My hard, tender nipples graze his chest.