Page 438 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

makes me relieved, sad, tired, undone.

I slip my arm over his shoulder,

laying my palm against his chest.

He breathes out slow and settles back,

tilts his head, kisses my arm.

“You’re here,” I croak out.

He turns, clicks off the TV,

his arm coming up and over my hip,

and the fire puts gold in his eyes,

shadows in his lashes.

He looks wrecked. Sleepless.

Bruised, but beautiful.

And he’s here.

Right here. “The Trojan Horse himself,” I whisper, my fingers raking up the back of his neck. “I saved your life tonight.”

“I heard,” he whispers back.

“Are you mad? At me.”

He drops his head into my arm.

“No,” he exhales. “No, I ain’t mad.”

“I went into your bathroom,” I say, watching the colorful Christmas lights blink across his cheekbone. “Condoms are loaded with PFAS. Called a forever chemical. You know why?”

He brushes hair from my face. “Why?”

“‘Cause your body can’t break them down. So they stay in you forever…”

His eyes are everywhere on my face.

My forehead,

my nose,

my mouth…

I don’t know if he’s even listening,

so I continue,

“They give you low sperm count.

“Infertility. Liver issues. Cancer.

“So I trashed them all.”