Page 371 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

And my stomach drops,

drops,

and I can’t turn fast enough.

Andrew’s only five feet behind me,

close enough to hear everything,

standing numb, eyes going out of focus.

As if his mind already walked away

before the rest of his body knew how.

The seconds that follow are cruel,

delivering his shock in slow motion.

Raymond’s words keep piercing him,

blow after blow,

breaking apart inside him,

finding every weak spot he has for me,

turning them into blocks of ice.

Then he blinks,

takes one step back,

turns away.

And then time catches up as he leaves,

ditching our coats on a nearby table.

He rounds the corner.

But I'm frozen here,

not moving.

Like every other time.

My heart slaps me across the face⁠—

Feel that?

That’s what not-going-after-him feels like.

And she keeps striking me raw,

again and again

and again