Page 275 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

I didn’t even know my feet were moving

until his voice follows.

My body wants to cry like a little bitch.

I don’t think I’ll make it.

I can feel the tears threatening,

but I can’t let them fall.

Not in front of them.

I want to get into my car.

Start the engine.

Drive until this feeling goes away.

I just want to leave.

My mind’s in a fog as I do.

The world slows as I pack a bag,

scoop the naked plant off the ground,

step into the elevator,

head down to the garage,

dirt smearing across my arm.

The spot where Ben struck me throbs as I walk to the car. Then I’m sitting in it, with the plant and all its dirty roots in the passenger seat.

Engine’s on.

Bass is pounding in my chest.

SoMo’s voice cuts through the speakers,

singing something I want to feel

but can’t.

I close my eyes.

My teeth clench down until it hurts,

until I feel the heat crawl.

I want to be okay,

but I don’t know how to be.

I don’t want to reach for the orgasm,

but I don’t know how else to make it stop.