Page 17 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

So maybe it’s half of both.

A part of like,

a part of love,

that’s why this feels so a-li-ve.

As if without him,

that part of me will die.

And my heart’s looking at me,

sweating, wide-eyed,

scared, and pale,

shaking her head, whispering,

okay. This isn’t fun anymore.

She gestures to Drew sleeping on my chest like—what the fuck did you do? He’s in here,

she says it, pointing at herself.

This wasn’t the plan.

I squeeze my eyes shut,

but all I see in the dark of my mind is him walking out of the Astor lobby, the door swinging behind him.

It’s all I ever see.

Andrew’s back.

Another door.

Another end.

Again and again.

Then the timeline unfolds like a funeral program⁠—

A week from now, no texts.

A month, he’s pulling away.

A year, he’s changed his mind.

Or worse, something unexpected,

something cruel.

Him gone in a way I can’t undo.

Some freak accident.

A light turns red,