Page 119 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

We left a trail behind,

puddles of us all over the floor.

I rip the drink fridge open,

grab two waters.

When I round the corner again,

my gaze drifts up to where he is⁠—

And I slam to a stop, standing paralyzed in the doorway of my bedroom,

towel still clinging to my shoulders,

with the two bottles slippery in my grip.

Andrew’s sitting on the edge of my bed,

with Brandon’s letter in his hand.

He’s reading it. All the words.

It’s killing me… staying this close to you and not being allowed to touch you… or hold you…. or sleep next to you… or tell you what you really are to me. I’m wanting things I ain’t allowed to want…

Shit I know you’ll never give…

I fucking love you, Allison… Always have…

And if you ever feel anything close to that for me, you know where I’ll be.

My heart’s pounding violent,

every fucked-up beat of it.

“What are you doing?” I snap.

His hand’s shaking. He drags it down his face as he looks over at me.

I pull the towel tighter around my shoulders. “You read that?”

My voice fractures in spite of me.

I should’ve never kept the letter.

I don’t even know why I did.

Andrew’s speechless, staring at me with this hurt in his eyes that’s splitting me open. That’s the look that makes me want to run, scream, cry. Makes me want to wish him and these last two months never happened. Makes me want to grab his face and break it so he’ll stop looking at me like I betrayed him.

I bite my lip to feel the pain. “What the fuck were you doin’ in my shit?”

It comes out cruel, soaked in venom.

But I don’t care if he was in my shit⁠—

I don’t.

I don’t care that he read it.