Page 47 of Strange Love

“What a despicable excuse for a human being,” I say through gritted teeth. “Not only did he take so many lives, but he also allowed so many others to suffer in the aftermath. He ruined countless families.” I release a heavy sigh. “What was it like seeing Natalie?” I ask cautiously, knowing that this may bring up more painful memories for her.

I feel her warm smile pressed against my shoulder and the weight of her words. “Seeing her for the first time was everything,” she says, her voice filled with nostalgia and emotion. “I walked into the house, and it was different but still comfortable. The walls were a new color, and the furniture rearranged, but it still smelled familiar. Like home,” she describes. “My aunt was there with Natalie, who had grown taller but still had the same bright smile. As soon as she saw me, she ran at full speed and threw herself into my arms, nearly knocking me over.”

“She’s a sweet kid,” I offer.

“She is,” Ivy agrees, then her tone becomes more serious. “Her guilt over what happened still lingered, but she shouldn’t have felt any. If allowed to do it all again, I would still demand they take me instead. We, as a family, continue to work through and come to terms with it. We’ve gone to counseling, and most days, everyone has moved on and grown stronger from it. Even my parents are better than I could’ve imagined. Their marriage seems to be mostly repaired.”

“Why did you ultimately decide to return to school?” I inquire, genuinely curious.

After contemplating, she responds, “When I first came back, I couldn’t bring myself to leave the safety of my home. I spent my days hidden away in my room, immersed in movies and books. My mom tried to homeschool me, but it was difficult. We would venture out to places like the mall or the movie store, but the idea of facing kids my age was overwhelming. Then one day, it hit me that I had already let that man take so much of my childhood, and I didn’t want to let him take this experience from me as well. So I made the decision to go to high school. I knew what people would say. I knew they would judge me without knowing who I was, but I wanted to do it anyway, to prove I could overcome this fear.”

As she speaks, her eyes glisten with determination. She continues, “And then you came into the picture and made everything easier and better. Your presence has been a great source of comfort and support for me, something I didn’t even know I needed. “

I shake my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I thought I knew what was best for you without knowing your story. What a cocky asshole I am.”

She chuckles softly. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. I mean, you are,” she teases with a smirk, “but your intentions have always been genuine. You wanted me to fit in while still staying true to myself. Thanks to you and Sascha’s friendship, high school hasn’t been as bad as living in a cult.” She laughs, using humor to soften the weight of her words.

Chapter 26

“These Dreams”

Ivy - Age 18, 1988

The words tumble out of my mouth, and a strange sense of relief washes over me. My chest tightens, and my heart races, but it’s a different kind of fear than the one I’ve held onto for so long. I’ve kept this secret deep inside for years, afraid that speaking about it would make it more real. Now, in this moment with Corey, I realize that sharing my story doesn’t make it any less true or painful. His warm gaze and gentle touch offer a sense of understanding I never thought possible. And in this safe space, I can be myself: the girl who was kidnapped at twelve years old.

The human mind is a curious and complex thing, especially when it comes to dealing with trauma. I’ve realized that our thoughts can be our worst enemy, often leading us down a path of self-blame and guilt. I know deep down that I’m not at fault for what happened to me, but moments occur where I can’t shake the thought that, somehow, I caused or deserved it. How could I have possibly done something that would permanently set me apart from everyone else? This toxic cycle of isolation consumed me for far too long, leaving me trapped in my thoughts and unable to break free.

Despite my efforts, most people, especially people my age, can’t understand the intricacies of going through an experience like mine. Something I’ve realized lately, they likely never will. Those same people would rather label me as strange or criticize my coping methods. Yet, I’m beginning to believe what Corey and Sascha have been trying to tell me— those people are inconsequential in my life.

My mind spirals as Corey’s gentle fingers graze my face, turning it towards his. The touch sends a shiver down my spine. “Ivy,” he murmurs, “Remember what I said last time we kissed? About not wanting an audience?” My heart races in anticipation as he leans in closer. “Well, there’s no one else here now. Just you, me, and the truth between us.” His eyes lock with mine, and my pulse quickens. “And I want to kiss you again.”

My mind is reeling, unable to form coherent words in the face of Corey’s intense gaze. I don’t need to speak as he offers me a warm smile and cups my face with his hand. His touch sends goosebumps through my body, and I find myself leaning into it eagerly. His lips touch mine, and emotions surge and swirl within me like a tornado. He deepens the kiss, exploring my mouth with an urgency that matches my desire. My hands find their way around his neck, pulling him closer as if trying to merge our bodies. At this moment, nothing else exists but Corey and the intensity of our connection, and I cling to it desperately, trying to etch this memory into my every fiber.

The kiss may have started gently but quickly ignites into a blazing inferno fueled by the overflowing emotions we both pour into it. My mind and body are consumed by something I can only describe as pure desire. For the first time in my entire life, I’m experiencing lust, an intense longing for another person that can’t be denied.

Our lips and bodies move in perfect harmony, and I’m overcome with the need to be as close to him as possible to make him feel as good as I do. This sensation is new and exhilarating, like discovering a hidden treasure deep within me.

As if in a trance, I swing my leg over and straddle his lap on the park bench. His body is warm and firm underneath mine. The scent of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers fills the air. Our lips meet intensely, hands wandering and exploring each other’s bodies. We’re lost in the moment, caught up in a whirlwind of passion, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt. Struggling to catch our breath, Corey finally breaks the kiss and gazes at me with a mischievous grin on his lips, causing my heart to flutter and my cheeks to flush with desire.

“Ivy,” he whispers, struggling for breath, “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this moment.”

A rush of heat spreads through my body at his words, the soft breeze rustling the leaves around us. His brown eyes are dark and intense, fixed on mine as if trying to convey his desires and emotions in that one look.

“You have?” I ask, surprised by his words and unable to hide the smile creeping onto my lips.

“Yes,” he chuckles, his hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, “But things are not going to get out of hand on this park bench. This is new to you, and I don’t want you to rush into anything.”

His consideration only makes me admire him more, and I nod in understanding even though every part of me wants to stay here with him forever.

“But-” I start, but he cuts me off with another kiss, his lips warm and eager against mine. The world fades away as we lose ourselves in each other’s embrace.

“I don’t feel rushed into anything,” I tell him once we break apart, our breaths mingling in the space between us. He arches one dark eyebrow skeptically as if testing my words.

“Can we maybe sit here and make out for a while?” I ask nervously.

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” he says with a smirk before leaning in once again and kissing me until I have no breath left in me. The moon glows over our entwined figures as we indulge in being together under the dark sky.

The hallway reverberates with slamming lockers as I click mine shut. My mind is still reeling from last night’s events, and I can barely focus on anything else. My first date. Memories of our make-out session in the park play like a movie on repeat, making me blush at the thought. I try to brush off any embarrassment or insecurity, reminding myself that it was just kissing and nothing more. It’s not like most people my age haven’t already done far more. Corey has surely done more with other people, which is a thought that irrationally angers me to my core, so I do my best to block it out.