Page 190 of Securing the Pucking Rebound

Sienna: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound quite like that.

Calvin: It’s true. No need to apologize. So is the fact that not a single one of them ever came anywhere close to you.

My heart races as it bleeds out. I wonder if hers is doing the same? Or does she think I’m feeding her lines just like I have to the women who have come before? Since she refused to talk during the long, torturous drive back from the park, I have no idea what she’s really thinking. Bea might have hinted at a few things, but I don’t know for sure.

I need to see her. I need to look her in the eye and tell her how sorry I am. I need to explain properly and then pray that she understands and can forgive me.

Calvin: Can I see you?

Calvin: Please?

When two minutes pass and I still get no response, the panic really sets in.

Have I fucked this up again?

If I ever needed proof that I don’t know how to be in a relationship, then this is it.

Sienna is probably doing the right thing by cutting me out of her life.

Pain cuts through my chest, and an image of my parents and sisters fills my head.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I always do the wrong thing.

My cell buzzes, thankfully putting an end to those self-deprecating thoughts.

Sienna: Soon.

My grip on my cell tightens. The need to ask, ‘how soon?’ or ‘can I come down now?’ is almost too much to ignore. But I have to. If I stand any chance of making things right with her, I need to follow her lead. Trying too hard will only push her away.

Calvin: I can’t wait.

Sienna: Goodnight, Calvin. Sleep well x

My eyes linger on that single kiss. Deep down, I know it’s probably just a friendly one. She probably puts it at the end of messages to Bea and her other friends as well. I shouldn’t read into it. But I really want to.

Calvin: Goodnight, Sienna. Sweet dreams xx

I let my arms drop to my sides as my body sinks deeper into the mattress.

I lie there staring up at the ceiling for the longest time, trying to come up with a plan. But without having any experience in these kinds of issues, I have no idea what I’m really doing. I’ve already fucked everything up enough; I don’t want to make it worse.

“I can’t believe the day has finally come,” Linc announces happily as he drops onto Rett’s couch with the smuggest fucking grin I’ve ever seen.

“Shut the fuck up,” I grunt.

They got back from their final road game last night, and after a stretch of Ws, Coach has given them the day off. They’re all buzzing. The Vipers are sitting pretty at the top of the division, and things are looking pretty incredible. I’m happy for them, but I’m also jealous as hell. I want to be on that ice with them, soaking up the success of what could be the Vipers’ best season in a very long time. We almost did it last season—we were in touching distance of the Cup. But it wasn’t to be. I’m not sure how I’m going to feel if they go all the way this season without me.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t have giving Killer relationship advice on my bingo card anytime soon,” Linc teases.

“Just so you know, the only person’s advice I really want is Monroe’s; he just happened to be here, hanging out with you idiots.”

“Oh, burn.” Rett laughs as he hands cans of soda out while Monroe sets up a game on Rett’s Xbox.

“You all know I have the best advice,” he says proudly.

“I still can’t believe you’ve been secretly pining for the same woman since you were a kid,” Linc adds.

“Because that’s really so hard to believe?” Rett states, his brows practically hitting his hairline. “What was it you said to me when I found out about you and Parker? ‘She’s been the one for me for as long as I can remember.’ Pretty sure I got that word-for-word.”