Page 4 of Risking the Pucking Defense

Spinning around, I gasp when I find Hailee standing there, holding it.

“Y-you’re in my room,” I blurt like an idiot.

She glances down at her feet.

“Only just,” she points out. “I can go, if you want. I just…” Her eyes bounce between mine as her words trail off.

A bitter laugh spills from my lips at the realization that she’s lost for words.

Hailee Caldwell is never, ever lost for words. “I’m sorry.”

I mentally kick myself for apologizing again. But I don’t have anything else to say.

“Stop, Hayden. Please,” she begs, taking another step into the room, finally letting the door close behind her.

2

HAILEE

Hayden lowers his head, dropping his eyes to the floor, and my chest tightens.

I know that pain. I also remember just how raw it is in the early days.

Grief is no joke. It’s debilitating. Inescapable. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, let alone someone as sweet as him.

“I don’t know what else to say,” he confesses quietly.

My need to reach for him again, to hold him, makes my fingers twitch, but I force myself to stay back.

I acted on impulse and pulled him into my arms without thinking. But now, standing here in his hotel room, I’m second-guessing myself.

He probably doesn’t want me here. One of his friends, his teammates, would be better, but for some reason, the second I saw him dart across the hallway, I couldn’t stop myself.

I saw the concern on the guys’ faces earlier. I saw the messages on Bea’s cell that hadn’t been replied to. I might not know Hayden all that well, but I know enough to know he’d never leave his friends on read. He cares too much for that.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Hayden is everyone's best cheerleader. He’s the enthusiastic rookie who’s usually bounding around the room with far too much energy despite how much strain he puts his body under during practice.

So for him to be absent and for no one to know why…it had alarm bells ringing.

“You don’t need to say anything.”

“But you need a story,” he says, risking a look up at me.

“What?”

“I know the season is coming up, and I know…” He pauses, releasing a heavy breath. “I don’t know how I’m going to do it.” His head falls back and his eyes close, pain oozing from every inch of him. “I don’t know how I’m going to go out there and pretend that everything is okay.”

“No one is expecting anything of you,” I say softly.

I startle when he barks out a laugh.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

“Is it?” I ask. “Those guys down there are your friends. They don’t⁠—”

“I’ve lied to them. I’ve been lying to them since I moved to LA. I’ve been…” He drags his hands down his face. “The person they think they know doesn’t exist. It’s all been an act. All of it.”