Page 33 of Risking the Pucking Defense

“One thing I know for sure is that none of this is your fault.”

Hailee sighs softly. “It isn’t yours either. I know you wish you could change everything, but you did everything you could.”

“One day, I might agree with you. Right now, all I can think about is how much time I didn’t spend with her, all the times I didn’t return a message or return her call.”

“Did she ever hold it against you?”

“Christ, never. She used to shout at me when I apologized for being busy.”

“You have nothing to worry about. Your sister knew you were living out your dream, and she knew you were there if she needed you.”

“I hope so,” I mutter.

“I know so. She was so proud of you, Hayden. I know I only met her a couple of times, but I could see that from a mile away. And I know she’s gone, but she’s still here watching you, cheering you on.”

I sniff, desperately trying to fight the emotion and the tears that follow right behind, but it’s impossible.

I lift my hand, swiping away a tear that spills over.

“I’m going to keep her alive. I’m going to make sure that people know her name, that she gets to do what she always dreamed of.”

“She’d love that.”

“I hope so. I just…I never want to forget her.”

“Impossible. She will always be with you, Hayden. Always.”

I blow out a shaky breath as I take the final turn, bringing our time together to a close.

My stomach knots with dread. I don’t want to go home alone. I don’t want to say goodbye to Hailee. But I don’t have a choice. It’s time to pull up my big boy pants and try to restart my life.

“There you go,” I say as I pull up out front of her building.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“It was nothing. I owed you after last night. And this morning,” I add, remembering just how good it felt snuggled up against her.

“You don’t owe me anything,” she says as she pushes the door open and climbs out.

I follow, pop the trunk, and place a suitcase at her feet where she waits on the sidewalk.

“So, I guess I’ll see you next week,” I say, hating how awkward I sound.

“Media day. Yep. I’ll make sure there’s no mention of…anything. Unless…”

I stare down at her, hating the space between us.

“I’m going to have to tell the guys. Everyone.”

“When you’re ready.”

I nod, unsure that I’ll ever be.

“If you need anything in the meantime…”

“You probably shouldn’t offer that. I might be standing at your door later tonight in my pjs for another sleepover.”

Hailee’s brows shoot up.