Page 197 of Risking the Pucking Defense

Hearing her talk about her past, about her husband, was hard. I hated the thought that she’s already given herself to someone else. She’s already had the proposal, the wedding, the promise of happily ever after. I know it wasn’t like that. There was no romance or grand gestures. The opposite, in fact. And I think I hate that even more, because it was stolen from her. She can move on from it all, but the memories will always be there.

When she gets married for love, it won’t be the first time she’s had a ring put on her finger. When she puts on her dress, it won’t be the first time, and when she walks down the aisle toward…

Fuck.

I rub at my chest, hoping to abate the sudden pain there.

I want the man waiting at the other end of the aisle to be me.

It’s crazy. It’s only been a few weeks, and she found me during the lowest point of my life. But I know. Hell, I knew before. I just needed to get her on the same chapter.

I know that our future isn’t going to be easy. She’s got a lot of things she needs to deal with and trauma she’s got to work through. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be confident in what I want.

“Hey, you look like someone pissed in your skates,” Rett says, dropping into the empty lounger beside me.

I grunt in response as I watch Kodie, Casey, Linc, Parker, Freya, Handsy, and Killer playing with Sutton and a few of the other kids in the pool.

He knows what’s wrong. He really doesn’t need to comment on it.

“We tried, man,” he tells me.

“Yeah, I know. Maybe it’s the right decision. I just…I hate it. I’m okay with keeping it quiet, I am. I just wish we didn’t have to with the guys. Everyone here would have our backs.”

“They would. Just give her time. It’s early days.”

“Listen to you with the relationship advice,” I tease.

“I’m a changed man these days; you could learn a lot from me.”

I look around Coach’s backyard, taking everyone in. “Where is your better half, anyway?” She’s here, I’ve spoken to her, but she’s vanished.

“Having a nap,” Rett explains. “She’s feeling better these days, but she’s exhausted.”

“I can only imagine. Growing a person must be a lot.”

“Have you seen how much her bump has grown?” he asks, pulling his cell from his pocket and opening up a baby app. “Look, we can track her bump every week. It’s so cool.” He passes his cell over and instructs me to swipe through the images.

“That is pretty cool,” I agree, watching as Bea’s stomach grows with their baby.

As I stare at them, my mind begins to run away with me, trying to imagine how Hailee would look with my baby growing inside her.

Fuck. She’d be hot as hell.

My blood begins to heat at the thought alone.

“And she’s totally getting hotter,” Rett states proudly.

I keep quiet on that, not wanting to end up with a black eye from saying the wrong thing.

“Did you see the bikini she’s wearing?” I mumble a response, not wanting to confirm or deny. He might be fully aware that I’m gone for Hailee, but Rett is nothing if not hot-headed. “Those little ties on the sides? I’m totally making use of those later.”

“Surprised you haven’t snuck up to where she’s napping,” I tease.

His lips part, and something I can’t read flickers through his eyes.

“She’s tired,” he reasons. “I think the burgers are ready. Shall we?”

“Yeah, sure,” I agree before getting to my feet and stalking toward Coach, who’s manning the grill.