Page 150 of Risking the Pucking Defense

He reaches over, grabbing my free hand. “You’re my girl now,” he says proudly. “And if I want to celebrate you, then I’m gonna fucking do it.”

I want to argue, but the twinkle of excitement in his eyes stops me.

“No big party.”

“Hmm.”

“Hayden, promise me. No big party.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs in faux annoyance. “Okay, fine. But it will be awesome and worthy of you.”

The need to continue arguing dances on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it down because he looks too freaking happy as he silently plans God knows what.

“Back to what you said a few minutes ago.”

“Which part?” he asks, making a second sub for himself.

“The part about me being your girl.”

“What about it?” He glances over, a little fear flickering in his eyes.

“Is that…what are we…”

“Hails, are you nervous?” he asks, a smile twitching at his lips.

A huge breath rushes from my lungs. “I’ve never done this, Hayden. I don’t know the rules or what we’re meant to do next. And it’s not just about us; we’ve got an entire organization that is going to come under scrutiny because of it.”

“That’s okay,” he says as if we’re talking about something simple like what to have for dinner.

“How can you be so chill about all this?”

“The franchise will be fine because they’ve got a kick-ass PR Director, with an incredible team beneath her who will do their job and keep the bullshit to a minimum. But also, I don’t fucking care what anyone else thinks or says. Fuck the jealousy-fueled stories on social media, or the bullshit the bunnies are gonna spew. None of that matters. It’s just white noise. The only thing I care about is that you’re happy. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you’re in charge here, Hails. Whatever you say goes. You want to send a press release out announcing this to the world, then you do that. You want to keep it under wraps a little longer, then that’s okay too, as long as I get to have you behind closed doors.”

“I’m not ready for the world to know,” I say softly. There’s still so much that I need to tell him before everyone else weighs in with an opinion. And I know that the second this hits the media, there’s going to be one person in particular who’s going to have something to say, and the longer I can keep him out of my life, the better.

“Okay,” he says, as if it’s the easiest decision he’s ever made. “I don’t mind you being my dirty little secret for a while longer.”

I hate that he makes it sound like we’re doing something wrong.

We’re not.

I’ve put my neck on the line and been given permission to explore this without upending my life. I can only hope everyone else will see it the way Anthony did, but I already know that’s wishful thinking.

We’re not just a boy and a girl who’ve found something together.

We’re a PR Director and a professional hockey player. And not just a player, a rookie. He’s barely old enough to drink, and I’ve recently entered my fourth decade of life. Everyone and their wife will have an opinion. Before that can happen, we need to be solid. We need to be in a position to withstand the backlash. And that means being open and honest about all the worst parts of my past that I’ve tried to smother over the last few years.

“You know that this is going to throw your world into chaos, right?” I ask, needing to know that he understands what he’s getting into.

“It doesn’t matter, Hails. All I want is you.”

I nod, my chest tightening as he stares at me with so much emotion swirling in his eyes.

“Yeah, me too.”

“No matter what happens next, we’ll figure it out together, yeah?”

I agree before we shift the conversation away from the heavy stuff, allowing me to ignore all the things I need to tell him for a while longer.