Page 110 of Risking the Pucking Defense

By the time the sun lifted above the horizon this morning, I knew what I needed to do.

I wanted to get it over with first thing, but one look at Esme’s calendar told me she was busy all day, so I’ve had to wait until now. It’s hands down been my worst day at work since securing my position here.

“Okay,” she says softly as she turns her monitor off, so I have her full attention.

My hands twist in my lap as that knot in my stomach only gets tighter.

“I’ve fucked up,” I blurt, not beating around the bush.

Esme smiles at me. “I find that hard to believe. You’re the most professional member of staff in this entire organization.”

Her confidence in me hurts because of just how wrong she is.

A laugh erupts from me, but it’s full of pain and worry.

“Hailee?” Esme questions, getting up from behind her desk and coming to sit beside me. “You’re worrying me. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I mean. Not really. But it could. It…fuck. This wasn’t meant to happen. I was just being a decent person and…and…”

Her warm hand covers the back of mine as I stumble over my words.

“Take a breath,” she soothes.

I do, but it does very little to help.

“I think I might have started some kind of relationship with a player,” I say in a rush.

I want to say that I feel better once the words are out, but I don’t. If anything, now they’re out in the wild, everything gets worse, more real.

Oh my god.

I’ve just imploded my entire life.

My breathing gets faster and faster, the room around me blurring to nothing as panic takes hold.

I fight to catch my breath, but I can’t.

Darkness edges into my vision, and all I can think about is drowning in it.

“Hailee? Hailee? Fuck. Can you breathe with me? In. And out. Deep breath in. And out.”

Esme’s voice rings in my ears over and over again, and eventually, my body complies. My lungs suck in the air I need, and my surroundings return.

I blink and find Esme on the floor before me, her hands on my knees as she searches my eyes for signs that I’m okay.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Don’t be.” She pushes to her feet and pulls a bottle of water from a hidden fridge on the other side of her office. “Have a drink. Take a moment. And then tell me everything.”

And I do. I spend the next two hours with Esme, laying everything out.

I didn’t tell Hayden I was doing this, and I don’t intend to tell him, either. Although I figure that if I’m imminently going to be escorted off the premises and forced to hand over all my passes, he might discover it sooner rather than later.

Esme listens to every single word with understanding and without judgment. She’s so easy to talk to, even when you’re confessing your greatest sins. I guess that’s why she’s so good at her job.

“Hailee, you don’t need me to tell you all the issues with this—the conflict of interest, the privacy issues, just to name a few. And I’d be lying to you if I said that isn’t serious, that this isn’t going to be looked into. But I appreciate that you’ve brought it to me sooner rather than later. That can only work in your favor. I’m going to need to take this to Anthony,” she says, mentioning our owner.

“I understand,” I say, my gaze dropping to my lap.