Page 183 of Fallen Nocturne

But I push myself up and start crawling again.

“Stubborn,” Death observes, still walking beside me. “I’ll give you that.”

“I don’t care what you call me, as long as I find him,” I manage through chattering teeth.

The rain gets colder and turns to hail. Chunks of ice fall from that empty sky, bruising my back, my shoulders, my head. I curl forward, protecting my skull, and keep crawling.

One hand. One knee. One hand. One knee.

All that matters is forward.

“Why?” Death asks, and for the first time, he sounds genuinely curious. “Why push yourself like this? Why suffer for someone who’s already gone?”

“Because he’s not gone,” I say. I force myself to lift my head. “Not while I remember him. Not while I love him.”

“Love,” Death scoffs. “Love fades. Love dies. I’ve seen it a million times. A billion times. Love is meaningless.”

“Then you’ve never been loved,” I say, and I look up at him. “Not the way he loves me. Not the way I love him.”

Something flickers across Death’s face. Surprise? Hurt? It’s gone too quickly to tell.

The hail stops. Lightning cracks across the gray sky, blinding white against the emptiness. Thunder follows, so loud it shakes my bones.

A bolt strikes the sand ten feet ahead of me. The sand explodes, showering me with hot ash and glass shards.

“I have an eternity to break you,” Death says, his voice darkening. “I’ll make you suffer until you realize how futile this is.”

Lightning strikes all around me now. A forest of white fire, hemming me in.

“You think love is enough?” Death continues. “You think determination is enough? I’ve watched lovers search for each other across centuries and never meet. I’ve watched parents search for children until they forget their own names. I’ve watched—”

“Maybe it isn’t enough,” I say, and my voice shakes. “But it’s all I have. And I am not going to stop.”

The lightning strikes come faster now and closer, forming a cage of white fire around me. Heat presses against my face, but I hold my ground. I have already survived losing him. Fire cannot frighten me now.

I keep my eyes fixed ahead, searching between every flash for a glimpse of dark hair or black wings. The thunder shakes the ground beneath me, but it cannot shake his name from my mind.

Svenn.

That is all I hold on to.

“Fascinating,” Death murmurs. “You’re actually going to kill yourself doing this. Your soul will fragment into something that isn’t Rhianelle anymore.”

“Then I’ll be broken,” I gasp. “I’ll be shattered, but I will still find him.”

“What is it about this one soul that makes you do this?” Death quirks his eyebrow. “What makes him worth this suffering?”

I hold Death’s pale gaze. Every part of me aches, but I refuse to look away.

“Because when I forgot him and lost my memories of him, I lost part of myself. When I got those memories back and I remembered loving him, being loved by him, I became whole again.”

Death stares at me for a long moment. “You do not need him to complete yourself. You are your own person, Rhianelle.”

My lips curve into a small smile. “You’re right. But he makes me happy and inspires me to be better. That’s worth everything.”

Death stands.

“You’re mortal, little queen. Even here, your mind can only take so much before it shatters,” he says, and there’s something almost sad in his voice now. “I can do this for years. One year, two—”