Page 24 of Tumbling Hearts

“Um… yeah, I was going to.”

“I’ll go with you. There’s something I want to talk about.”

Gene gulps. “A-alright.” As Ray stares at him, making eye contact, his gaze is so cold. Those blue irises are like ice crystals. Gene knows without a doubt that Ray must’ve been listening to everything from his phone call. Countering Ray’s ice is a heat that rises within Gene, who’s already feeling completely sober again.

He has no right to be upset at me inviting Toshiko over if he’s going to be that way with Carol.

So, yes, they do have something to talk about. Gene leads the way up the stairs, Ray in tow, and they make it down the hall to the master bedroom: the room Gene shares with Santiago. As Gene opens the door, Santi is still inside, sitting on the carpeted floor with an acoustic guitar in his lap.

“Oh, hey Gene! Ray!” He smiles. “What are you guys doing up here?”

“We, um…” Gene’s brows draw together. “Me and Ray want to hang by ourselves for a minute, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Santi pouts, standing up and holding his guitar by its neck. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Gene lies, trying to force a smile. Ray, behind him, takes a deep breath. “Just want some privacy, that’s all.”

“Well, alright. I’ll head downstairs to give you guys some space.”

Gene and Ray walk further into the room as Santi heads out the doorway, taking his guitar with him. Before he leaves, though, Santi holds onto the doorknob, tilting his head curiously.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Santi says. “Hope everything really is alright.”

Santi always has such good intuition. “We’ll be fine,” Gene reassures, trying to keep his fake smile on.

“Alright, alright,” Santi says, before finally shutting the door and leaving them all by themselves.

The two stay quiet as they listen to Santiago’s footsteps fading in the distance, getting quieter and quieter, as he heads down the stairs and can no longer be heard.

Ray huffs out another long, slow breath. He doesn’t make eye contact, looking off to the side as they stand idly in the room. “Why are you inviting her over?”

Right to the point, I see. “Why can’t I invite her over?” Gene snaps back, making Ray flinch. “She called, and asked to see me again. I figured it would be nice if she wanted to stay for a bit.”

“A bit, huh?” Ray asks, lifting his gaze to make eye contact with Gene. “Were you planning on fucking her again?”

Gene’s heart stutters—his eyes open wide, staring dumbfounded at his best friend. “So what? What if I did? I know you’re still planning to fuck Carol again, so why should it matter? You’re acting like a hypocrite.”

Ray scoffs, but says nothing.

“Look, if you want me so badly, why haven’t you broken it off with her?” Gene finally addresses the elephant in the room, throwing his hand out and gesturing toward the door.

Ray takes yet another deep breath, in, and out. His cold expression turns softer, more vulnerable—almost sad. “You know I can’t do that, Gene.”

“Why fucking not?”

“Because!” Ray huffs, his eyes appearing glossy. “I mean, you should know, Gene. First of all, I still like her, she’s done nothing wrong. But most importantly—she’s a woman. You know that you and I can’t be together in the same way because we’re both men.”

Those words—as true as they may be—hit like a punch to the gut. He hates that this is reality; it makes his blood boil. “Yeah. I get it,” Gene says, frowning. “So you have no right to be jealous of Toshiko, then. If you’re gonna be with a woman, I’ll be with a woman, too.”

“Fuck. Well, fine.” Ray blows out another pained breath, lifting his hand and running his fingers through his hair, pulling his bangs away from his face. After dropping his hand back down to his side, he shakes his head. “Sorry for bothering you with this.”

Gene closes his eyes for a moment, feeling a pressure behind them. When he opens them back up, he gazes at Ray again. Ray is so fucking beautiful, with his luscious, pouted lips and messed up curly blond hair—it hurts. “It’s alright,” Gene says. “Maybe… maybe we just shouldn’t talk about it like this. I don’t know.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Ray shrugs. But then—he reaches forward, grabbing Gene’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. It takes Gene’s breath away. “I’ll be downstairs, I guess.”

The touch from Ray’s hand throws a dagger into Gene’s chest, ripping his heart in two. “Alright. I might be down later.”

“Okay,” is all Ray says, looking Gene in the eyes one last time before he lets go of his hand. And then, Ray turns around, opening the door to the hallway and shutting it behind himself, leaving Gene alone in the room.