Page 45 of Brutal Captivity

Maybe Leo's blood going down the drain like De Luca’s did when it was washed from his killer’s hands is fate's way of providing justice for Leo's misdeed, but I do care. I care a lot. The very idea of Leo being injured makes me feel like I may vomit and makes my chest feel odd. I take a deep breath, gripping the handle of the door and twisting it, finding it unlocked. I close my eyes and go in.

When I open the bathroom door, the noises that were on the other side are amplified. My ears perk up, making out the sound of what I had assumed were gasps for air moments ago.

The frosted glass door of the shower is shut, the water running behind it, but there is no steam billowing. The thick fog on the mirror is dripping down into condensation, the steam that created it long since gone. I step closer to the shower, listening carefully for any signs of distress. The sound carries a sense of distress, but not physical pain. It sounds more like someone trying to suck air in, like Leo is hyperventilating.

I stare at the door for a long moment, trying to decide what to do. I don't think Leo is hurt, physically, so I debate about leaving the bathroom completely. It’s none of my concern, right?

It is, though. My heart hurts with each pained gasp that sounds as though it is ripped from Leo's chest. I don't know what’s happening. He did leave our discussion fairly quickly, looking haunted, but of course he gave nothing away, no reason as to why he was upset. I turn to leave. It isn’t any of my business. If Leo can be heartless and callous, then I can be too.

As soon as I turn, Leo gasps again. It’s gut wrenching, and it forces me to pause. I try to will my feet to move away, to leave the bathroom and let him wallow in the misery of his own creation. I shake my head, taking another deep breath and a step towards the exit.

A dull thudding noise can be heard over the sound of water, as if Leo is hitting something soft repeatedly against the wall. I stop mid step, blinking back my own tears, as another shooting pain travels through my chest. My heart hasalready made its way to Leo, my feet following of their own accord as they step slowly toward the shower door.

I take a deep breath, attempting to prepare myself for what I may find. I slowly open it, my heart beating out of my chest in anticipation, stopping my breath from leaving my lungs. I expect to see Leo as soon as I open the door, but I am met with an empty wall.

I still hear the gasps, disturbed every few seconds by a dull thump, so I look down. Leo shivers on the shower floor, under the stream of water. His eyes are shut tight in anguish as he hits his head repeatedly against the wall, arms wound securely around his knees. He doesn’t seem to notice that I am in the room, but I need to stop him before he hurts himself.

“Leo.” My voice comes out weak, the sound of the shower drowning it out. Leo doesn’t acknowledge me, so I clear my throat. I open my mouth to say something, anything, but I have no idea what to say.

All I can do is stare at Leo's naked body as he sits shivering on the floor of his shower. Water droplets are traveling over his pale skin, down the contours of his body, obscuring some of that tattoos in their wake. The shaky lines of his trinity knot look almost straight under the refracted light. My heart shatters at the sight.

Leo doesn’t look like the monster I have thought him to be. No. Not at all. He looks like a scared boy. The very same one that was kicked out of his parent’s house at the young age of 14. I can’t stop the images of a life I had never even witnessed from flashing through my mind. A young, scared Leo, homeless and shivering in the rain, wondering where he will find his next meal. I blink a few times, shaking my head trying to clear out the image I had created.

“Leo. Please. You’re gonna hurt yourself,” I say softly but loud enough to be heard over the water that is still running. Leo's large body continues to tremble as if he didn’t hear a single thing I said.

I test the temperature of the water. It’s freezing cold. I turn it off. The sudden absence of the water causes Leo to stop the motion of his head, his gunmetal eyes cracking open in surprise. Droplets of water cling to his long eyelashes, some falling onto his freckled cheeks every time he blinks, and I briefly wonder if they are tears or if it’s water from the shower.

Human. He is so human it hurts my chest and I forget how to breathe.

“Go away, Callisto. Please.” Leo whispers the words, his voice raw from his panic. I consider doing as I am asked. Leaving. My brain screams at me to leave. But my heart– the stupid thing that is beating madly in my chest– is telling me to stay. It must have control of my body because I cannot force my legs to move.I cannot look away from the man in front of me. The man who has pulled his legs even tighter to his chest, the wet hair matted in different directions.

“Just leave me alone. You can walk right out the front door, and I won’t fucking stop you. The keycard to unlock the door is in my pants pocket on the floor. The code is 2254. There aren’t any guards I don’t think. I don’t care. Just go. You shouldn’t have to be around a monster like me.” Leo’s voice breaks with the last word, the sentence ending on a garbled crack.

He buries his face in his knees, trying to hide himself from the world. Or perhaps, just hide himself from me. I’m frozen. Leo told me to leave. To walk out the front door. To escape. I glance at the discarded jeans lying on the bathroom floor, then back to Leo, who is still weeping, curled into a ball.

“My car keys are also in my pocket. You can override the fingerprint lock on the gate by pressing cancel, enter, cancel, then 0928. Once you’re out of the gate, turn left. Stay on that road, and you’ll eventually end up in the city,” Leo rambles, voice muffled, but I can tell how tired he is by the sound of it. Like he’s given up.

My head spins with the new information. This is my chance. The one I have been waiting for. I could leave. I could follow Leo's directions and find the nearest cop station then lead them back to Leo. I could save Nico. I could save myself.

twenty-one

“Monsters don’t bleed.”- Callisto

“Butthey’llkillyou,”I whisper. It’s the only thing stopping me from picking up Leo’s discarded pants and doing exactly what he told me to do.

I tell myself that I don't care if they kill Leo, but that would make me a hypocrite. That’s not the only reason, though. He was right; some people do deserve death. Some people aren’t redeemable, but Leo is not one of them. He was a scared boy who fell in with the wrong crowd and became a fearless man with far too many buried demons. Enough to rival Satan’s legion in the pits of hell.

“They’ll kill me anyway, so what difference does it make? At least they won’t kill you in the process.” Leo finally looks up to meet my eyes. His are shiny with unshed tears. My heart breaks a tiny bit more. Leo is concerned for me. After everything. After I have been so cruel and cutting. After the horrible things we’ve said to each other. He’s concerned. For me. His prisoner. Well… not his prisoner anymore.

“Why do you think they’re going to kill you?” I ask, completely confused by his words. I replay our earlier conversation in my head, even though it feels like it happened days ago. I try to pinpoint something he said to make him feel that way, but I’m at a loss. I assumed this emotional outburst was the result of the talk about his family, but a crucial piece is missing. Leo revealed his cards to me, but he still has an ace hidden up his sleeve.

“Because I betrayed them. I didn’t do what I was told,” Leo gets out through chattering teeth. A single tear escapes down his cheek, mingling with the water still clinging to his skin. His whole body trembles. I want to get him out of the shower and dry him off, but I don't know if I should touch him. The moment feels fragile. I could attack him right now, and he wouldn’t even fight back. It’s like he wants to be punished.

“How did you betray them?” I ask, curiosity lacing through my tone. Leo is speaking in riddles, but maybe, just maybe, if I ask the right questions, I willfinally get some answers. I might actually get to see the full picture of who Leo is, and not the caricature I have painted in my mind.

I already have the proverbial paint thinner out, ready to toss it on that inaccurate depiction, to wash it away for good. Because right now, Leo is art. He is so broken. It is heartbreakingly beautiful, and I want to capture it forever. I want to paint Leo as a man and not a monster. A vulnerable man who cries and bleeds like me.

“I didn’t kill my sister like he wanted. He told me to kill her today when we found her. He said if I didn’t, it could jeopardize the whole outfit,” Leo’s voice is so detached, it’s almost as if he’s not even speaking to me. My mind flashes back to the scrapbook I found tucked away in his drawer, the young, beautiful girl inside, and my heart breaks.