Page 61 of After the Chase

"Come on, Noah, just for an hour. We want to see the new place," Aaron says, and Seb behind him looks uncomfortable.

“Do Dima and Lev know you are here?” I ask, and Aaron smiles, but not in a friendly way. Seb just rolls his eyes.

“Like we need their permission,” Aaron says. I then hear Seb talking to him. “You’re a little liar, Aaron. You said that Noah was cool with us visiting.”

“Yes, because you know he would never invite us.”

“This is embarrassing,” Kai says, turning his back to walk away.

“Not as embarrassing as those hickies, Uncle fucker,” Aaron goads, as he turns to go after him.

“He’s not my Uncle!” Kai shouts before storming off.

“Tyler can come in, the rest of you can leave until I’m not here,” I say, and Seb gasps, before laughing out loud.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why can’t we all come in?” Seb asks.

“Tyler is blood and Chase’s brother, I have no choice but to accept him.”

“Thanks Noah, I feel so loved,” Tyler says beside him, and Chase kisses the back of my neck.

“Guys, I’ll arrange something soon, I promise. Noah is not up to visitors right now,” Chase says into the speaker.

“They need to understand boundaries, this isn’t a place for social events.”

“I know, Noah. I’ll handle it.”

This is where I know I’m gonna regret moving here, these fuckers don’t know when to stop. I’m not becoming a part of that little group of gossips. I’d rather cut my ears off.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHASE

Six Months Later

My journal has become something else entirely. It's no longer just a file of Noah's mind, it's a chronicle of our descent into the criminal underworld.

Noah has become Marcus’ most trusted operative,I write.Over the past few months, Noah has become more ingrained into the workings of the clubhouse and the Kozlovs’ operation. He has a reputation, and is trusted with interrogations and kills that are beneficial to both parties. Slowly, he has developed his own independent role, and it feeds him well. I think it’s the one thing that keeps him grounded living in one place as it prevents the boredom, and he has unlimited access to whatever feeds those desires.

And I watch it all.

I've become his willing accomplice, his watcher, recording everything he does. I go with him everywhere, as he never leaves my side. I’m well protected by those around me, and word has spread enough of Noah’s ownership of me.

I pause, pen hovering over the page.

I’m also still aware of what is happening to me, that I'm exhibiting every sign of criminal complicity, of moralcorruption and psychological descent. But that makes me happy and adds a fun dimension to my journalling.

I'm exactly where I want to be with the man I love. I am fully aware that it’s all wrong, but Noah can do anything and I will remain here, because there is no life without him, just as there is no life for him without me.

I close the journal and look around our beautiful home. I walk downstairs and Noah is in the living room, on the phone with Ivan. They're planning something I don't know the details of yet, but I will. Noah always tells me eventually. Him and Ivan have become quite the duo over the past few months, although Noah still resists the “friend” title that Ivan insists on calling them. Noah only wants the benefits he gets from Ivan, access to information and weapons. Ivan is alone in this friendship, but he doesn’t seem to mind, and that makes me happy on some level, that he accepts Noah as he is, but tries anyway. Noah is unable to change, but the people around him adapt to his ways, and you can see that they hope something will shift. It won’t, but sometimes it’s best to let people live in their own hope.

I watch him through the doorway, as usual he's wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt, his posture relaxed but alert.

He's beautiful, and not despite what he is, but because of it. A look of annoyance is visible on his face as he ends the call and looks up, catching me watching him.

“You need to have a chat with your brother, and tell him to get Ivan to back off,” he says, waving his phone at me.

“What has he done now?” I ask, and I have to suppress my amusement, as this is the only problem Noah is unable to solve his own way.