Page 3 of Koda's Love

“You just gonna keep sticking your d i c k in everything moving.” She spelled out the word because we all had been working on censoring ourselves whenever Karisma was around.

“I don’t do that now. I’m selective about my extracurricular activities.”

My dad and brother laughed, while Mycah and my sister shook their heads.

“That’s the same thing Kairo said until Mycah came along,” my sister added.

“Well, that’s Kairo. Can we eat? I’m hungry.”

“You know I don’t get into y’all business like that, but your mother has a point. You are a successful man, and you don’t need to waste your time on women who are just trying to get money from you,” my father said. “You don’t have to respond, just something for you to think about.”

I nodded at my father, then got up to put Karisma in her high chair that was in between her parents.

Once my mom and sister put all the food on the table, everyone made their plates. We caught up on each other’s lives as we ate. I loved my family and really enjoyed the time we got to spend together. Everyone was busy doing their own thing, so moments like this were special to me. I prayed that no matter how much our family grew, we could always maintain our closeness.

My doorbell rangas I put my underclothes in my small suitcase. After zipping it, I headed toward the front door. I already knew who it was because no one came to my house.

“Hey, Avalon.” My cousin Diamond greeted me when I opened the door.

“Hey, Diamond.” I stepped back to give her space to enter. “Why didn’t you use your key?”

“Because, you might have been trying to get some last-minute dick or something.” She shook her head and laughed. “Who am I fooling? We know you ain’t letting anybody hit anything.” Diamond took off toward my bedroom, and I was right behind her. Once we entered, she sat on the chair near thefull-length mirror I had, and I walked over to the bed so I could finish packing.

“First of all, I could get some if I wanted some. You also know what this weekend means to me,” I said somberly.

“I know, but I also know you could use some dick. It’s been over a year, Avalon. Do you think he would want you to not move on?”

A little over a year ago, I lost my boyfriend, Miles, to a drug overdose, and I hadn’t moved on from it. Miles and I were together for four years and were so in love. We planned on getting married and having kids, but all that ended when he died. He wasn’t a crackhead or anything; he just happened to get addicted to pain medicine after a car accident.

“Diamond, sometimes I feel like I’m ready to, then something happens that changes my mind. I don’t know.” I shrugged, then picked up a black shirt that I wanted to take with me.

Diamond stood from the chair, then walked over to me. She pulled me in her arms and hugged me tightly. For a moment, I got emotional as tears streamed down my face. I wanted to move on, but it was hard.

“I think it’s just because you haven’t met someone worth the time. Plus, I know this weekend is an emotional one. It’s okay to feel those feelings. I just want you to understand that you could move on and be happy one day. Miles wouldn’t want you being all sad and shit.” She released me and sat at the edge of the bed.

Before losing Miles, I was the happiest person. I cracked jokes all the time, and my life was colorful. I was getting back to myself, but with it being the anniversary of Miles’s death, the sadness took over. I really didn’t plan on being alone forever, but I honestly hadn’t met someone worth it. I’d gone on a couple of dates since Miles’s passing, but the dating pool sucked. Too many didn’t know what they wanted or at least to be honestabout it. They either wanted someone who gave it up on the first night, or one who would let them do whatever they wanted, and that wasn’t me. I wasn’t a prude when it came to having sex on the first night, but I also didn’t just give it up to anyone.

Miles and I dated for two months before we crossed that line. He was always the perfect gentleman, and he catered to me. I did the same for him as well. I tried my best to get him some help when I saw how the drugs affected him, but he didn’t want it. I never left him, though, in hopes that he would see how it made him become a different person. He had a prescription for opioids, and when it ran out, he got some off the streets, and that was what killed him.

“I guess it’ll happen whenever it’s supposed to. I can assure you that if I ever come across someone that sparks my interest, then I would see it through. I promise you I won’t be an old and lonely lady.”

I talked a good game, but I was a little scared about moving on. I didn’t want to love and lose again, but I knew death was imminent. Love was worth experiencing. I still wanted to have a child or two if I could. I had five years before I turned forty, so I didn’t have a ton of time, but there was still a chance.

“Yeah, ’cause we can’t have you in here talking to Chester all day.”

I giggled as she rolled her eyes. I continued folding clothes and putting them in my bag. I would only be gone for a few days, but I packed more than I needed. It wasn’t even like I was leaving town, so I could come home if I needed to. I was only going across town to the Bishop Sunrise Hotel. I just wanted a few days to reflect and relax.

“Chester listens, and he doesn’t judge me.”

“Bitch, because he’s in a bowl,” she screeched. “If he opens his mouth, the only thing he’s going to get is water or them small flakes of food.” She sucked her teeth.

“Speaking of food, you are going to feed him, right?”

Chester was my beta fish that I had for six months. I talked to him sometimes when I didn’t want to bother anyone with the things that were on my mind.

“Yes. I’m gonna ask Uncle Darnell why he never got you tested because I swear you are a little touched.” She shook her head and twisted her lips. “You act like Chester is a damn kid or something. He won’t starve if he doesn’t eat for a couple of days.”

I spun my head toward her so fast it hurt my neck. Diamond was my first cousin and best friend. Her dad and mine were brothers, and we grew up together like we were sisters. My mom died when I was three, so I was raised by my father. I was truly a daddy’s girl, but he also taught me things that I needed to know so I wouldn’t have to rely on a man. I knew how to change tires, spark plugs, and brake pads. Anything outside of those three things, I took my SUV to the dealer. I also knew how to change the locks on my house if needed. Nobody else had a key to my place except for Diamond and my father.