Page 23 of Koda's Love

“The floor that interesting to you?” I teased, trying to ease the thick tension in the room.

“No. I got your message about the food. Did you have someone in mind?” She got straight to business like I didn’t have my tongue shoved down her throat the day before. I didn’t kiss women, so for me to want to kiss her the way I did meant she was someone special.

“Um, the chef here said she could do it along with her team.” I led her over to the table so we could sit down.

She had on heels, and I knew women’s feet hurt sometimes with those types of shoes.

Avalon took her notepad and tablet out of her bag but hardly looked at me.

“Okay. That will work. I can get with her about the menu ideas I had, if that’s okay.” The tone of her voice was flat like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

I tried to brush it off because, quite honestly, the shit was unprofessional. I let it slide, though, because it was clearly something on her mind.

We went on to discuss some other things, and the whole time, Avalon looked down or everywhere else but at me. I tried to touch her, but she moved each time. It wasn’t sudden jerks, but it was enough for me to feel that shit.

The more she acted like she didn’t want to be around me, the more it fucked with me. I had really been trying to show her I was all about her, and she was on some other shit.

An hour went by, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“What are you doing?” She screeched when I took the tablet from her hand.

“I’m trying to figure out what the problem is. Did I do something?”

She shook her head but kept her eyes on the table.

I lifted her chin and forced her to look at me.

“Ava, I can’t fix what’s wrong if you don’t tell me what it is. I need you to let me in, baby.” I spoke to her calmly because I wanted her to feel comfortable to share whatever was on her mind.

She bit her bottom lip as her eyes watered.

“When I was at the mall with Diamond, I ran into Miles’ cousin, and she told me that he wouldn’t have wanted me to move on, and I let her get into my head.”

I grabbed her hand and held it. I didn’t want to speak too soon and say the wrong thing. I never had to deal with something like this, and any other chick who had any type of emotional issues, I cut them off. I wasn’t trying to do that with Avalon, because I was really feeling her.

She didn’t badger me about spending time with her because she had her own motion. She wasn’t trying to get into my pockets because she had her own. My heart raced whenever shewas in close proximity. I saw a future with her. Kids, her fish, and everything else that came along with her. I wasn’t trying to compete with a dead person, but Avalon was worth a little fight if I had to.

“I mean this with all the respect in the world. He’s not coming back, so his cousin was out of pocket for saying some shit like that to you. You aren’t cheating on him, and you didn’t leave him. It’s clear that y’all shared something real, but you deserve to be happy again. I know I said that already, but I’ll keep reiterating that shit a million times if I have to. And I already told you that I’m not trying to take his place; I’m just trying to make a spot for myself.”

I needed Avalon to not only hear what I said, but to feel me.

As an idea came to mind, I stood from my seat. “Put your stuff away and come with me.” I released her hand so she could gather her things, then helped her from the chair.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere I like to go when I need to clear my head.”

There was a spot on the roof that no one knew about but me and my siblings. I even set it up to have privacy if I needed it, just in case. Of what, I didn’t know, because there wasn’t another building that faced that side. The only thing that was out there was the ocean, but still, I could never be too careful. I had never brought anyone up there except Kairo and Karma, but they never came again. It was just so they would know where to find me in case some shit happened.

Avalon and I walked hand in hand to the elevator, then got on. When we reached the desired floor, we stepped off, and I led her to the door.

“Koda, what is this?” Avalon asked as I led her over to the couch I put up there.

“This is my escape. When things get overwhelming, I get me a drink from the bar, then come up and decompress.” We satdown, and I placed my hand on her leg. “I want this to be a safe space for you too. It doesn’t matter if I’m with you or not; you can come here if you ever need to. You don’t even have to tell me unless you want to.”

She laid her head on my shoulder and whispered, “Thank you.”

I gave her leg a soft squeeze, and we sat in silence for a few minutes.