Page 195 of Own It

“Thanks, but I can’t just forgive you after what you did.” I kept looking straight ahead, despite feeling her eyes on my side profile.

I wished this large ass vase with flowers sprouting from it was even bigger, because despite its size, it couldn’t conceal me from Serene’s attention.

“I know. I just . . .”

“Why did you do that?” I frowned, unable to remain stoic and unbothered. “You know that’s my man and how I feel about him. Also, he did something nice for you, and for you to flirt with him was embarrassing and disgusting.”

Serene nodded, finally avoiding eye contact now that I was staring a fucking hole through her weird ass.

“Part of it was the intoxication, Daylin, making me feel quite brave and willing to throw my inhibitions to the wind. The other part—” She fidgeted—“was the fact that I’m having issues in my own relationship, and I wanted to kind of create the same for you.”

“Wow.” I was floored, but I didn’t know why.

“I know. Sounds fucking horrible and it is. But I’ve always had better than you. I got better grades, had a better career, a better romance, a better relationship with Mom and Dad. I didn’t know how to deal with you having something, not just better but far better than me.

“Regardless, I was wrong. I know that, and I need to apologize to you. What I did was sick, and I want to blame it on always having to be the better sister in our parents’ eyes so much so that it bled into other areas in my life, but there is no excuse, Day. I need you to know that I know that.”

Refusing to acknowledge her words because I was currently gripping the bottom of my seat in effort to quell the urge to punch her face in again, I asked, “What kind of issues in your marriage?” This was the first time I’d ever heard this since Avant became a thing.

“I found out a few months ago that Avant cheated with one of the nurses that work in his office.” She tucked her lips in, and I could see the hurt and devastation in her eyes even though she wasn’t crying. “When I found that out, I just felt undesirable, especially because he wasn’t all over me like he used to be.” Laughing, she added, “Men don’t even hit on me anymore. Add that to the fact that Avant cheated with some young bitch, and my self-esteem became nonexistent.”

I hated how bad I felt for my sister in this moment. But as I recalled the wistful way I caught her staring at Rakim and me in the club when I was seated in his lap, it suddenly became easy to no longer have any empathy for her.

“Well he’s an asshole for cheating, Serene, but that has nothing to do with me. I would’ve preferred this treatment from a friend than my own sister.” I shook my head, and Serene could only nod.

I watched her eyes glaze over as she toyed with her large wedding and engagement rings.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a horrible fucking sister for what I did. And I can admit I’m jealous of you because you did what you wanted no matter how much Mom and Dad shunned you. I was too fearful of disappointing them, and it caused me to make decisions in life that I didn’t fully want to.

“Did I want to get married the year after I finished college and right before I started medical school? No, but Mom did that. I didn’t want to be pregnant while in medical school, but again, Mom did that.” She huffed. “All the times I made you think my life was better than yours and more valuable was because I was trying to convince myself of that shit, not you.”

I nodded, seeing how everything was making sense.

“Are you going to leave him?” I questioned.

“I don’t want to, as pathetic as that sounds. Starting over with someone else and with two kids sounds exhausting.” She stared off. “But I may have no other option since Avant says he is in love with the girl.”

I couldn’t lie, that shocked my ass and rendered me silent for a bit.

“Wow,” was all I could mumble because that bitch ass nigga had me speechless.

“Anyway.” She stood. “I hope you can forgive me, Day. Going through a divorce and only having self-absorbed Cairo to lean on will send me to an asylum.” She came to stand before me.

Peering up at her as I remained seated, I shrugged. “It might be a possibility down the line, Serene, but as of right now, I cannot forgive you or go back to how we were. It’s crazy to even say that because we were barely close, but we were better than this right now.”

“True.”

“I just hope you won’t cause a drift between me and the kids simply because we aren’t friendly anymore,” I said. Only seeing Cairo III once in a blue moon was bad enough, but if that became the case with Grace and Jeremiah, too, I would lose my mind.

“Of course not.” She shook her head as I listened to my mother’s heels clack against the porcelain stairs as she descended them.

“Look at you two.” My mother beamed. “Ready?” She turned to me. “Oh, why don’t you come, Serene? It’ll be a girls’ day out.”

“No. I have some work to catch up on. I’m behind from being out of the house,” Serene replied, and I knew it was a lie, but I was thankful.

I really didn’t want her ass to come.

My mother looked her up and down before nodding curtly and starting for the door. I trailed her, never looking back.