Page 126 of Own It

In the middle of my bubble bath, Rakim came and stood in the door, smirking at the sight of me before licking his full lips and tugging on his beard.

“See something you like?” I lifted my knee, allowing it to peek through the bubbles.

“Nah.” He shook his head, coming in to sit on the chair I’d asked to be put in this big ass bathroom outfitted with a beautiful vanity which I loved. “I see something I love.”

Among everything else I admired about Rakim, I appreciated how on top of shit he was. I never had to ask for something twice, and though small, that was one of my favorite attributes of his. I mentioned how a vanity in this bathroom would be nice, and by the next week, there was one installed. That was a far cry from my ex who couldn’t even remember what I told him I wanted for lunch only fifteen minutes ago.

“Oooh.” I purred, blushing.

“Old boy showed up today, huh?”

“Ugh. He told you?” I scoffed, referencing Spencer’s big mouth.

“He better had. Nigga has to give me a report every day.”

“So you always know my moves, but I don’t know yours? Should I be asking Mylo for a rundown of your day?”

Rakim tugged on his beard, then said, “Nah, he only gives me a report if some shit happened or anything weird. You got ya freedom, baby, but I’m not gon’ let shit happen to you, whether you like it or not.”

“Shaun is not even like that.”

“Any nigga can be like that, especially a man with a bruised ego and broken heart. Nothing will make a bitch nigga stand up quicker than losing his woman or pride.”

I looked down into the hot bubble bath, thinking on if Shaun would ever actually try anything. I never thought he would cheat, and yet here we were, so I guessed I could never be too sure.

“You know better than I do.” I leaned back, inhaling the warm sweet scent of my candle burning.

“I’m probably gon’ have to murk that nigga, Day. I try to make murder my last resort since most niggas accept a threat and possibly a punch, then go on ’bout their fucking business, but I don’t know if that’s gon’ be him. Gave that nigga a permanent lisp, and he still lurking.” Rakim stared off pensively.

I knew I’d recognized something going on with Shaun’s speech, but I’d been so irate every time I saw him that my anger blinded me from addressing anything else.

“I understand.”

“Talk to me, baby. Be honest on how that shit make you feel. You ain’t gotta pretend for me.” He laced his fingers, eyeing me.

“Stop looking at me like that. I can’t think straight.” I put my hand up, making him let out a chuckle in that sexy deep voice of his. “I’m serious, Rah.”

“Aight.” He smirked, a glint in his eyes in effort to give off a different look.

“I don’t know how to feel. I’ve never been with someone who . . . took lives. Shaun was just a local hustler, but I’m pretty adamant that he’s never killed a person. I think I would be sad, but not because I miss or love him, more so because somebody lost their life.”

Rakim nodded, seemingly processing my words.

“I’ll hold off as long as I can, and maybe the muthafucka will wisen up.” Scratching his beard, he added, “I don’t want you thinking I just go out murking niggas for fun, but I do want you to understand I have no qualms about it. I’m gon’ always kill a nigga before he kill me or someone I love.”

“I get you. I learned a while ago that everything you do is for people you love, and I love that. It was why I couldn’t even be as mad at you for kidnapping me,” I spoke truthfully.

“Does what I do bother you?”

“Just makes me scared for you. I don’t want you losing your life or going back to prison.”

“Unlikely, baby. I’m far removed from a lot of that shit. Majority of the niggas out here selling my shit don’t even know my face or name in relation to the game. They may know me from my boxing days or what I did to end that shit. As for being caught, it could happen, but it’s implausible. A nigga close to me like Jojo or Mylo would have to run their mouth. Ayan nor my pops know enough or really anything at all to be able to snitch. Not that they would, but I can’t truly trust them muthafuckas, so I don’t keep ’em in the loop.”

I just listened as he talked, in awe of how intelligent he was. When people said they were thankful for their current partner’s ex, I now knew what they meant. I have never been so happy for someone to have hurt a person I loved than I was right now. Had LaMia stayed down for Rakim, he’d probably be her husband right now, and I’d be stuck with Shaun or single. Anything but having this love and this man, I couldn’t and didn’t want to fathom it.

“That’s wise. I don’t trust them either.” I frowned.

“I won’t be in this shit much longer though. The baking company and the boxing gym do well enough for me to leave this shit, and I plan to within a year.”