Page 90 of Locke

Boss raises his hand.“Is there a prize this time?”

“The prize is the same as last time.”

“Not dying of cardiovascular failure,” Rome says.

“In the third period,” Arch adds.

“See?”I say with a bright smile I don’t feel down deep.“You’re learning.”

The men disperse to various stations and I call the first rotation.For the next forty-five, they sweat and bitch and moan.Boss beats his sled time from two weeks ago and announces this fact to everyone within a hundred-foot radius.There are high fives and tired smiles when we’re done, but most importantly promises to come to the next session.

And well, that’s at least progress.

I collect the agility ladders and do a brief scan to make sure everything else is picked up.I pack everything away in the locked gear boxes and head inside.It’s been a long day, and I want to go home to a hot bath and hopefully another full night of sleep that will put me one more day away from Locke Donovan and the way he broke my heart.

I’m just locking up my office when I turn and see Patrick walking down the corridor with one of the assistant coaches.He sees me and lifts a finger, indicating he wants me to wait.

I do so, not with impatience, but fatigue.I really want that bath and then my bed.

When he finally reaches me, I note he’s in training gear—dark track pants, a fitted long-sleeve charcoal colored shirt, running shoes.

“I was hoping to get in on your circuit training, but meetings ran long.Maybe next time.”

I blink at him in surprise.“I’d love to have you anytime.”

“I’ve heard they’re a bitch,” he says as we start walking toward the staircase.“You headed home?”

“Yeah… long day.”

“How are things going?”he asks as we start down to the lobby.“Generally.”

I don’t know that I’ll ever feel settled given how things ended with Locke, but I put on a cheerful smile.“The program is running smoothly, individual work’s been productive.It couldn’t be better, frankly.”

“And how are you finding the job?Outside of the operational.Are you happy here?”

The question is simple.He asks it the way he asks everything—like he wants a real answer.

I open my mouth.

And what moves through me in the half second before I speak is a feeling I have yet to process.I’ve been circling it at two in the morning when I can’t sleep and the most honest version of myself shows up.

I didn’t reach Locke professionally.

I have two sessions of real material and a third session that detonated, plus the man who was supposed to be the measure of my effectiveness in this role.That man is currently pretending I don’t exist in the corridors of the building I work in.

What’s worse is I crossed every line I swore I wouldn’t.I let the personal and professional blur past the point of recovery, and the outcome is that I failed at both simultaneously.

“I’m happy,” I say, but that’s not entirely true.I’m happy with certain things and so sad about others.

“I’m glad.I want my people to be happy.”Patrick glances at his watch.“Got another meeting, but I want to get together sometime this week to discuss Donovan.”

“Donovan?”I ask, my voice squeaking slightly.

“Yeah… I want to hear about the last session you had.Not the details, of course, but whether you think anything else is needed.I can lean on him to attend more if you need it.”

“Oh, um…” I stammer, not knowing what to say.I can’t ever force that on Locke.He’d hate me for it.“Actually, I think it’s all good with him.”

Patrick frowns at me.He hears me stumbling with half-truths and cocks his head.“Are you sure everything is okay?”