Page 65 of Locke

“Agreed.”

“And I still get my third session when we’re back in Portland.”She holds up a finger.“That’s nonnegotiable.A deal is a deal.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious, Locke.”

“I said I know.”

She studies me, perhaps gauging the truth in my tone.Finally, she picks up her cup and leans back in her chair.

“This juice is really good,” she says.

“Yeah,” I admit with a small smile.“It is.”

We people watch for a bit more in companionable silence.I consider the separate box she just described, which seems to have alleviated the guilt.It still doesn’t negate the fact that Livia Cross is a very specific problem, one I have apparently decided to stop trying to solve.

Chapter 20

Livia

Theturfisdryfor once.It’s the first thing I notice when I push through the exterior door of the facility onto the outdoor performance zone.I hike my equipment bag higher onto my shoulder, grateful for the only mildly chilly day.Portland weather can fluctuate drastically in December, but today the sky has decided to cooperate.

I drop my bag and set up the push sled.It will be the last station of five on this circuit workout I’d posted on the team event board, and I hope I have at least one player show up.I intend to use the battle ropes anchored at the south wall, agility ladders unrolled along the east side, the push sleds already in position on their dedicated track, a pull-up rig at the far end, and a medicine ball station to finish.The turf is the team’s forest green with the Cascade Mountains crest painted in the center.The slate and graphite of the facility wall rises on one side, the rest open sky, and on a morning like this, it feels like the best office in the building.

I set up the last cone and straighten, letting myself have thirty seconds of not thinking about anything work related.

We’ve been back from LA for three days now and I’ve got men rotating in and out of my office.That’s not as slutty as it sounds.Rather, I’ve got players signing up for and believing in what I can do for them.I’m hoping these occasional circuit training sessions will get more guys to give me a chance because I’m feeling the absolute need to really prove myself in this role.

I know that has everything to do with my guilt for crossing the line with Locke.I haven’t even seen him since we’ve been back, which you’d think would alleviate some of it, but it hasn’t.He’s not avoiding me but between a home game against Atlanta and two evening commitments I’ve had, there hasn’t been any time to connect with him.

I am a professional with advanced degrees in human performance, and I keep telling myself that I can absolutely keep those things in separate boxes.I almost believe it.

Outside the moral dilemma I can’t seem to shake is the inherent problem of uncertainty.Yes, we slept together.Locke called it just having fun.But he stayed the night.Held me while we slept.Banged my brains out the next morning and then ran with me to keep me safe from Grant.

Those details repeatedly assail me because Locke is a man who has built his entire life around not attaching himself to temporary things, and yet he chose to stay in that hotel room with me.Hell, he chose to walk me up to my room to ensure I was okay, and that didn’t have a damn thing to do with sex.And then when we woke up the next morning, he reached for me like it was the most natural thing in the world.I don’t know what to do with that information and I can only hope it clarifies itself.

The door bangs open.

“Tell me this is outside because the weather is actually nice and not because you’re trying to kill us and avoid a bloody mess?”Arch asks, sauntering over with that easy and charming confidence of his.

“It’s both,” I say with a grin.

He laughs and drops his bag against the wall.“I respect the honesty.”

Boss Calloway comes through right behind him, Rome at his shoulder.

“Sleds,” Boss groans with apprehension.

“Don’t panic yet,” I assure him.

“Too late.I hate sleds.”

“Stop crying like a baby,” Arch says with a playful punch to his shoulder.Then his eyes light on the agility ladders.“Ah, shit.I hate those things.”

“Suck it up,” I quip.

Rome surveys the circuit with a quieter assessment, and we’re soon joined by Crosby.I haven’t gotten to know him as well as I’d like to, especially since most of my information about him comes from Juno.After our ladies’ wine night, I probably know things about this man that he’d prefer his colleagues didn’t know, but I manage that the way I’ve decided to manage Locke.