Page 61 of Flowers To Give

“Hey,” Barry greets softly.

“Hey,” Jeremy leans against the post, hat tilted down.

“So yesterday,” Barry pauses, using his hands to talk, “That was crazy.”

Jeremy nods, putting his hands in his pockets.

Barry shakes his head, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a history with Clark like that?”

“I did,” Jeremy rolls his shoulders back.

“No, you told me you two used to be friends. That’s it,” Barry’s brow scrunches.

“Okay, he kissed me once when we were younger. But he took it back, and I never forgot about it,” Jeremy admits.

Barry pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering aloud, “I just don’t understand why you would tell some random guy that before me.”

“Well, he asked me why I didn’t like kissing. So I told him. That’s why. I didn’t do it maliciously.”

Sitting with that for a moment, Barry searches Jeremy’s closed off face before asking, “Alright. I get it. But where’s your head at now?”

“I don’t know,” Jeremy sighs, “In a thousand places. But one thing’s for sure.”

“What’s that?” Barry shifts his weight closer to Jeremy.

Jeremy looks him square in the eye and tells him, “I’m not staying on Willmaker Ranch.”

Taking long strides forward, Barry infiltrates Jeremy’s space and takes him by the shoulders, saying, “Let’s leave together. Just you and me. We don’t need these yuppies.”

Jeremy glances off to the side, “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere! We could go to another ranch, or travel around for a bit,” Barry comes up with a plan on the fly.

Shaking his head, Jeremy isn’t entirely convinced, “You don’t mean that, Barry. You don’t want to give up your job for me.”

“Yes, I do,” Barry’s hand comes to Jeremy’s cheek, tilting his head up to face him, “How long have we been doing this, Jeremy? Six months? That’s a hell of a lot longer than anybody involved here. Don’t you think I actually know how I feel after all this time?”

Jeremy searches Barry’s genuine expression, realizing now how comfortable he’s become being in this close proximity to one another. He nods, “Okay. I believe you.”

“Then also believe me when I say I want to be with you,” Barry’s voice is low, eyes drooping and sincere. Jeremy knows what to expect next, curious and relaxed enough to let Barry lean down to him and brush his lips against Jeremy’s own. His eyes slip closed and he really tries. Jeremy works his lips in rhythm with Barry’s, lets the kiss deepen. Jeremy truly wants to feel that connection with him. But there’s nothing, and Jeremy slips away.

Barry keeps his eyes closed a moment longer, squeezing them hard before opening them. He lightly touches Jeremy’s hands, brings them between them and stares down at his knuckles as he says, “Don’t say anything now. I want you to think about what I said. But if you’re really leaving no matter what then I am too.”

“Barry, don’t-”

“No, Jeremy, I’ve made my decision. I can’t imagine working here without you,” Barry takes a steadying breath before continuing, “I’m workin’ the rodeo, I’ll leave right after that. I hope you’ll be there to join me in the end.”

Biting down on his lip, he feels so conflicted and his chest swells with emotion. He doesn’t want to lose Barry. The ranchhand bends down and lightly kisses Jeremy’s rough knuckles, squeezing the fingertips and then letting go. He walks away and doesn’t look back. Jeremy’s glad it’s that way, afraid Barry would notice the sole tear that’s dropped from the middle of his eye.

The sun hangs low in the pretty spring sky as Jeremy and Yana venture out of the mess hall with their plates of food. They’ve been eating dinner outside at the picnic table ever since the public fight, sitting away from the prevalent undertone of gossip. Yana follows him in solidarity, allowing him a sliver of dignity amongst his coworkers.

Forking a slice of grilled chicken in the brisk outdoor breeze, Sheila is walking off the dirt path and approaches Jeremy at the picnic table. She nods her head to them in greeting, saying, “Munday, you’ve got a visitor.”

Heart throttling to his throat, Jeremy swallows thickly and puts down his fork, asking, “Who?”

“You know damn well who,” she pulls up her jeans on her wide set hips and continues, “Now, you know I don’t want no trouble around here.”

“Did you tell him to leave?” Jeremy ducks his head, ready for a reprimanding.