Page 22 of The Pakhan's Secret Baby

She works fast, zipping the thick blue fabric up his legs and over his round belly.

Lex giggles and kicks his feet, trying to roll away from her, but Irina catches him gently and keeps going, pulling the hood up and tying it snug under his chin.

She adds the scarf next, wrapping it carefully around his neck so it doesn’t itch.

Then she pulls on his little mittens one by one, wiggling each finger into place while he laughs and tries to chew on the fabric.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. I sit on the edge of the couch and rub my cold hands together. “Something came up with Batya. He’s not feeling well and I should stay close to home this weekend. Maybe we can do something small another time.” I also hate lying to her about that. Batya is an old alcoholic, and half the time he looks like he's dying when in reality he just hasn't eaten or slept in days and he's dehydrated, chasing his hangover with hair of the dog.

Irina tucks Lex’s scarf tighter and smooths down the hood. She stands up with him in her arms and hands him over to me. “Your father’s been ‘not feeling well’ for weeks now. You can’t keep hiding in that tiny apartment with him. It’s not healthy for you or for Lex. Remmy keeps asking when you’ll bring that apple pie again. He says nobody makes it like you do. He even bought extra cinnamon just in case. We can make it a full family thing. Your dad can come too. He needs fresh air and real food too. He looks thinner every time I see him.”

She blocks the path to my coat with her body. Her eyes lock on mine. “Talk to me, Emory. Is it money? Is school stressing you out? Did that art professor give you more grief about yourportfolio? He’s always so hard on you. You can tell me. I won’t judge.”

I think about the past three years of fertility treatments and how often this woman called me every time she felt sad or discouraged.

I have been her rock, and what she's asking is nothing more than what friends do.

She wants to return the favor for me and be my support, but I can't involve her.

It's too risky.

Rashid could hurt her really bad. I have to protect her.

I hug Lex tighter against my chest and rock him while he plays with my hair. “Look, it's nothing serious, I promise. I’m just tired. Lex's been waking up a lot at night and I’ve got big deadlines coming up. I can’t afford to miss any classes right now." I know my excuses keep shifting and I'm rambling, and she can probably see right through me. But she's being gracious. She probably understands it's not something I feel comfortable talking about.

Irina puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head. “You’re a terrible liar, and you know it."

I shake my head again and reach for my coat. “I really can’t do family night. Maybe next weekend. I just need some time at home to catch up on everything. Batya needs me right now.”

She rubs Lex's cheek and frowns at me. “Em, you’re scaring me. If someone’s threatening you, we can call the police. Or Remmy can stay with you for a few nights. He’s big and he doesn’t scareeasily. You don’t have to handle everything alone. I hate seeing you like this."

I pull on my coat while Lex fusses a little. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. I just need to get Lex home before it gets darker and the streets get icy.”

Irina sighs heavily but finally steps aside. She kisses Lex on the forehead and gives me one last long look full of worry. “Fine. But I’m not dropping this. You’re coming over next week even if I have to drag you there myself. And bring your father. He needs fresh air and real food too. Call me if you need anything."

I nod and slip out the door before she can say more.

The cold hits me again as I carry Lex down the stairs.

I flag a cab at the corner, climb in with Lex on my lap, and give the driver our address.

Twenty minutes later the cab stops in front of our building and I pay the driver, and hurry inside.

Batya sits at the kitchen table with a half-empty bottle in front of him.

His eyes are bloodshot and his hands shake when he lifts the glass to his mouth.

The second he sees me he jumps up so fast the chair tips over, then his eyes widen in fright and he runs a hand through his hair.

“Lock the door,” he snaps. “Did you check the hallway? Were you followed?" He's acting paranoid again, which isn't a good thing. I'm not sure if he's just too drunk or if something happened. I thought things were getting better.

I set Lex carefully in his playpen and turn the deadbolt to make Batya happy. Then I go around and check the windows one by one while he watches. “Batya, what’s going on? You’re scaring me. You look terrible.”

He rushes to the front window, peeks through a tiny gap in the curtains, then yanks them completely shut so no light leaks through. “We've got to stay inside from now on. No school for you tomorrow. No park for Lex. No leaving this apartment unless I say so. Do you understand me? Keep the lights low after dark and stay away from the windows. Pull the curtains tight. And no visitors either, not even the neighbor."

I sink into the chair across from him. My legs feel like they might give out any second. “Why? Tell me what happened." With the afternoon I've had, I really can't deal with this today.

Sometimes he gets on these kicks where he thinks the world is out to get him, but he promised me a few weeks ago that whatever he was working on would get us freedom.