Page 25 of Faithless Vows

“Are you hungry?” Alannah asks, pulling me back.

“Yeah,” I lie. “Let’s grab something.”

We stop at a drive-in not far from the house. She orders a sandwich and a Coke, still talking, still excited. I order the same, though I know I won’t be able to eat it.

When the food comes, she takes a bite and keeps talking, too excited to slow down. I pick at my sandwich and force myself to take a bite. It tastes like nothing at all.

She doesn’t seem to notice.

***

The house looks perfect when we pull up.

The gardens have been freshened up, the hedges trimmed neat, the path swept clean. The wide windows catch the afternoon light, and beyond the back fence, I can see the water glinting.

Alannah sits forward in her seat, taking it all in. “Oh, Ronin,” she breathes.

I park and we get out. She walks ahead of me up the path, her steps quick and eager. I follow, pulling the keys from my pocket as I catch up to her at the door.

The door swings open, and she steps inside. “Oh my God,” she says, her voice soft with wonder.

We go room to room. She touches everything—the furniture, the curtains—pausing to admire the way the light falls across the floor. She comments on the colours, on how the decorator placed things, on how much better it looks than she imagined.

Her excitement is genuine. Pure.

If I hadn’t cheated on her, this would be perfect.

But I did.

And now I’m standing here, watching her fall in love with the home we’re supposed to share, knowing what I’ve done.

In the living room, she turns to me, her face glowing. “It’s perfect, Ronin,” she says. “I love it.”

She tilts her head at me, still smiling. “What about you?”

I look at her—really look at her—and the words rise up in my chest, sharp and desperate.

I love her.

Why would I do this?

I need to tell her. I need to tell her I love her, to make sure she knows. I’ve never said it before—not once—but I need to say it now.

The words are right there, on the tip of my tongue.

“I love you.”

It comes out quiet but urgent, pressed out of me because I need her to hear it.

Her eyes widen. For a second, she just stares at me. Then her breath catches, and her hands come up to frame my face. “I love you too,” she whispers, and there are tears in her eyes now. Happy ones.

She kisses me, and I hold her close, feeling the warmth of her against me, the way she fits perfectly in my arms.

She’s so happy.

And I’ve ruined it.

I’ve ruined everything.