Page 84 of All's Fair in Love & Wrath

“Where is he?” I ask.

“Outside having a smoke.”

“Be safe. I love you both.”

“Since when are we ever reckless, Enna? You know us better than that,” Lincoln jests. I roll my eyes, walking off in search of my big brother. I walk outside, the air cooling, the weeks having given way to summer’s end, nights finally more enjoyable. I find him sitting by himself in front of the fire pit, his back to me, his shoulders tense.

“You’ve changed, Enna,” Maddox says the moment I take a seat next to him by the fire. It rages, the wood crackling and burning, ash floating on the wind like fireflies. “Up until that night, you had this fire about you that couldn’t be contained. I thought he doused it completely. Until now. I’m not going to pretend to understand what happened here, but seeing this side of you again . . .” He runs his hand over the rough scruff at his jaw. “I owe you an apology.”

“No,” I cut him off. “We’re not going to start apologizing to each other when we were all just trying to survive.”

“I owe you one anyway. So please?”

I nod, shutting up and letting him say his piece.

“There’re things I kept from you. That Dad and Mom kept from you. It’s one of those dark family secrets that you take to the grave. It fucked me up, Enna, and I still struggle with it every damn day. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to make things harder on you, and I know it’s fuckin’ selfish, but I didn’t want you to look at me differently. We’re all each other has.”

I start to put the pieces together on my own. I may have been depressed and fighting my own battles, but I’m not blind, and I’m certainly not stupid. My stomach churns with bile, andtears prick my eyes before he’s even finished telling me what I’ve already subconsciously known. Maddox’s hair, his dark eyes, the way he looks nothing like our parents, the conversations I had with my mom after my assault, and the way I’ve silently questioned why Maddox hasn’t been harmed by Cain. I just didn’t want to believe something so horrifying.

“Twenty years before your attack, Mom was raped, Dad found her and exiled the club member, but not before he found out she was pregnant. With me. They fell in love, raised me as Dad’s, and then he came back, looking for a way to get back at Dad for taking everything from him. If he couldn’t have Mom, you were the next best thing in his eyes.”

My brother bats a tear away, and my heart shatters into a million pieces. That fire in me rages into an inferno. The destruction that Cain has caused for all of us is monumental, a twisted, fucked-up web he’s created for his own sick and selfish gain.

I stand from my chair and squat down in front of my brother, his huge body towering over me. I grab his face, forcing him to look at me. I meet his eyes, and all I see back is my brother. The guy who would play Barbie dolls with me when I wasn’t allowed to have friends over, the brother who taught me how to ride a bike, and to swim, and to shoot a gun. The guy who has been dealing with his own trauma for so long but still taking care of me the best he knows how. I don’t look at him and see my abuser. I just see love. I just see my brother.

“Listen to me right now, you are nothing like Cain. You share DNA, and DNA doesn’t mean shit. Lincoln and Gage are my brothers, too, and I don’t look at them any differently. You are my brother, and Mom’s son; you are Dad’s son. You are a product of something terrible, Maddox, but that doesn’t mean you are. Lotuses don’t bloom without mud. Don’t forget that.”

Maddox nods, wiping away a few fresh tears. I’ve neverseen my brother cry, in all the years I’ve known him. I hate that he’s carried this for so long.

“He’s going to die tomorrow, Mad. I feel it in my bones.”

“Yeah, Enna, he is.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

AXEL

It’s still dark out when I peel away from Sienna. Her long blond hair is fanned out over the pillow. She looks so peaceful, and I allow myself a few precious moments to memorize her face before I force myself out the door. I lock it behind me, walking into the common room to meet up with my patch brothers. Chaos, Sin, Malice, Rogue, Noose, and a bunch of others are already there, locked and loaded.

“Doesn’t get any easier, brother, hate to tell you,” Rogue says, tying his long hair back into a ponytail.

“Feels like I’m wading through sludge. I’m having to force myself to walk away from her.”

“Welcome to the club, brother. Happy to have you join us.”

“What’s the plan for the women?”

“Patch bunnies are staying in the bunkhouse on lockdown. Noose, Rave, and Gunner are staying behind with some prospects. Otto is here, too. Queens will stay inside.”

“Monroe is at her parents’. I told her not to leave until I came and got her.”

“And Bristol’s with my mom,” Sin adds.

“So that leaves Saige, Kinsey, Sienna, and Morgan.”

“They’ll be fine. If we want to get there before the sun rises, we need to hit the pavement now,” Chaos demands. I check for my gun and knives one more time before leaving the clubhouse, revving up my bike and following formation. There’s a tightness in my chest, a pull back to Sienna, my heart working in overdrive.

It’s the first time I’ve gone into war with some semblance of my human side with me. I’m no longer just a Heathen, and as much as I tried to leave Axel in that room with Sienna, he’s lingering, making sure I’m being smarter, because now I have something more to come home to, someone I don’t want to let down.