Page 28 of Texting My Mafia Boss

Mara: I think it’s great you’re thinking this much about her.

I would’ve loved for an adult to care this much when I was a kid, but I don’t add that part.

Mara: She seems fine to me. She’s a very naturally happy person. Of course she has her bad moods. I think we all do. But she’s happy you’re coming to her recital.

Ettore: I’m going to make that no matter what.

I swallow, hoping he’s right.

Ettore: What are you doing for the rest of the day?

Mara: We’re going to head into the city. She wants to go shopping for some extra ballet shoes. I asked Livia, and she said she’s within budget for the month.

Ettore: The budget… Yeah, I had to implement that. It would be too easy for me to spoil her. I’m fighting the urge constantly. Give her things instead of time. She has a good life, but it’s no replacement. So far, I’ve been strong. Or, I’ve done my best, anyway.

Mara: I think you’re doing a great job. She’s grateful for everything she has.

Ettore: Are you going to her usual store?

Mara: I think so. Why?

A long pause. I think about him in his suit, surrounded by darkness like in Sylvie’s drawing. As far as I know, he still hasn’t spoken to her about that. I’m starting to wonder if he should or just leave it alone.

Ettore: You know why I had to be a jerk earlier.

Mara: So, you admit you were a jerk, huh?

My cheeks ache from smiling so much. I’ve never experienced chemistry like this.

Ettore: I don’t know how to behave around you. If I let in a little warmth, I’m afraid there will be a fire.

Mara: And I’ll get burnt, right?

Ettore: I know, it’s cliché as hell. It doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Mara: Maybe you should consider I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.

Another long pause.

Ettore: Livia mentioned how much Sylvie cares about you and I don’t want to hurt anyone.

Ettore: I need to get back to work.

I sigh, putting my phone down. Livia and Ettore are quite similar in that way. Their moods are like masks and I never know which one I’m going to get.

As I drive, I think about what Ettore says. He’s afraid to let in a little warmth in case a fire starts. It’s the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. He didn’t say it like he was trying to be romantic. It was a statement of fact. But then, he didn’tsayit at all. He’s a different person over text. That’s part of the problem.

He’s right. We should stop this. Back off. The reason is sitting in the backseat, humming.

“Mara,” Sylvie says.

“Hmm?”

“Did you notice that Livia can cry without any tears or sounds? Like she cries but she’s not crying.”

She says it absentmindedly, but it guts me. It’s true. Livia does and can do that. She can have no expression, none at all, and yet still somehow look so tragic she might as well be bawling her eyes out.

I want to ask why she thinks that might be, but that would be wrong. I won’t use her as my little spy.