“It’s way less glamorous when you have to sleep and this thing is moving.”
“Sounds romantic.”
“It’s not,” Mary giggled. “Uh… so… the song. It’s about you. I knew you would find out. But I wanted to maybe ease into it or explain it. The problem was… before I knew you were coming, AJ added it to the set list. And then I tried to take it out but failed on that front.”
“But why? I… I don’t know what to say?”
“Why the song or why the setlist?”
“The song, Mary.”
She looked at her hands. “Because I was heartbroken and felt betrayed when you left that morning—right or wrong. I channeled it into a song. It means nothing other than what it did at that moment.”
“But we literally wave from a damn balcony. It’s on the nose. People will think?—”
“Don’t worry, princess. It’s not on the EP. I have only played it once. And no one will get that. They think I’m talking about Romeo and Juliet. It’s not even that good of a song.”
“What?” I gasped. “Itis!People lost it. It’s the perfect type of raunchy?—”
“For this crowd. Look, I am surprised, honestly. Who would have thought anyone wanted to listen to an elder lesbian boast about cunnilingus?”
I shook my head. “Personally, you should boast, but… it’s different when you hear it. It does sound like a flex. But I do care about you. It’s not just about screaming your name. It’s not about the sex.”
Mary’s incredulous grin said otherwise.
“Okay, the sex is part of it. Fucking you is… a breath of fresh air. You make mefeelamazing. But, I thought we had real?—”
“We do, Elisabeth.” She took my hand. “I… I don’t want you to think this is everything. You’re amazing in bed. I could fuck you endlessly if we had all the privilege of privacy and time—which we don’t—but it’s not what I think about when I think of you. I think of this grin of yours and the way you bite your lip when you’re trying to be bad. I love your bravery and how you furrow your eyebrows when annoyed.”
“Really?”
“You scare me. And that’s why I wrote the song. Sometimes, though, you face the things that frighten you. And you? You were worth facing.”
My tears welled. She cupped my face, sweetly holding my gaze.
“I love you, Betty. It’s stupid and too fast, but damn it, I held a candle for this stranger I met five years ago and… she never disappointed.”
I ran my fingers through her wet hair, pulling her towards me as I did. I didn’t even think of saying the words back as I was overcome with how much I felt each letter that hung in the ether. Her vulnerability spoke volumes and this was the best way I knew to assure her.
“Mary, I wanted to?—”
Mary pulled back and turned to AJ who stared, confused.
AJ said, “And… this is… awkward. I should go.”
“You should go,” Mary confirmed. “If this can wait until we’re headed back to LA?—”
AJ departed. “It can. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Mary poked her head out and down the hallway. “Well, I gotta hand it to him, he evacuated the place quick enough. I always worried he’d be a terrible cockblock. Or… whatever the alternative term is.”
“A clam jam?” I giggled. “Is that a thing?”
“Yes.” Mary turned back to me.
“Mary, I love you, too. And it’s getting harder to hide.”
The words finally rolled out. But to my surprise, they felt so natural I wanted to say them again. Rather than make a big deal, Mary smiled sweetly and kissed my hand.
