“But you see the talent even in my spicy bisexual ass. I had a reputation for being emotional, but you didn’t care. You helped me channel it.”
“I do what people should.”
“Nah. You put off so much to help others. Listen to your dad. This isyourchance to be happy. You could have it all.”
“That seems unlikely, though. That’s what ‘Balcony’ is all about.”
“And yet? You’re still here, babes. I must believe it will work out for you. There are few people who deserve this more than you. You need to figure out what you really want, Mary, and get it.”
“I just want to be happy,” I said.
“And what does that mean?”
“It’s stupid and pie-in-the-sky.” I watched drunk festival goers nearly fall on their faces.
“A partner. Kids if she wants them.”
“What’s so stupid about that? All of us want it—even my temperamental arse.”
I snickered. “You’re all lovable.”
She squeezed my hand. “Look at me, Mary.”
I turned.
“Mary,you’relovable. I needyouto believe that before you throw away what is quite possibly the best life you could have. You finally have the recognition you need and a woman youlove. Stop worrying about the what-ifs or all the nasty insecurities people primed into you. This is your second act. Live it up.”
My tears welled at her sweet words. I wiped them away and sipped my too-sweet lemonade.
“It’s mythirdact, Clarice. My first was being a pop starlet jerked around by creepy men. My second was producing and taking the stable road because I had to care for my mum. Now, I’m free. You’re right.”
“Don’t waste it on worry, darling. You have so much to be grateful for. You have so many possibilities.”
“And so many roadblocks.”
“Be glass half full, okay? Love the moment now. Embrace the fact that if your greatest fear is a fucking closet, you are focused on being unhappy.”
Maybe Clarice was right? Maybe I was too focused on finding flaws in the story to live it authentically. Deep down, I knew that Betty would accept what I could give her, but was that settling? Only time would tell what that reality brought. For now, though, I was ridiculously happy. That deserved some weight, didn’t it?
I took a deep breath. “At least I know it’s possible now. You’re right.”
Chapter 32
Famous-Famous
BETTY
Iwasn’t famous-famous at Miragelite. Entering through a VIP gate, arm looped through Jaz’s, I was merely the girl who came off my biggest win in a year. I was starry eyed over Dory’s triumphant cross-country run and epic stadium ride. Cici always said a rider’s ability to make a catch ride into something bigger was the biggest testament to her overall capability.
“It’s just so… fucking cool!” Jaz gazed at her special badge. “Is this real life?”
“Right?” I asked. “It’s brilliant.”
“Now what?”
“Your Royal Highness, right this way!” A documentary’s PA called. “We’ll take you to the lounge. You can get drinks before you go see 4låt.”
I caught up. “Hey, can we just… call me Betty? And to her as Jaz? I just want to feel… normal.”
