“No,” my brothers answered in unison.
“What song?” Pappa asked.
“Nope. We’re not going there, Far,” I said as Mary turned beet red.
“It’s actually two songs, not one,” Ingrid added. “Because I have thought about the timeline and Wayside is on there, too.”
“It’s more than two,” Mary winced. “And she doesn’t even know about the other two. One… I will not get into. The other… I wrote it for you.”
My jaw dropped. “Elskling, you wrote me a song?”
“Of course,” Mary shifted in her chair and looked down. “It’s no big deal.”
“Ofcourse? Mary, no one has ever written a song about me before. And why didn’t you say?”
“Because it’s sort of embarrassing.”
“But she watches your sets,” Ingrid said. “She must know eventually.”
“It’s easier to perform a show with a vulnerable song than it is to play it for one person,” Mary admitted. “The fear… it’s more about myself than it is about you. It’s the only productive means I have for dealing with my emotions. You know that. And if you hated it, I’d be gutted.”
“But I will love it, I am sure,” I promised. “You should never worry about that.”
“I will not play it for you. No. Not here,” Mary said. “But someday. I actually… I did something for your birthday with the song I wrote.”
“I’m going to cry,” I said. “Stop. You can show it to me later.”
I was curious about the song, but didn’t want to talk about it here. I wanted to learn about it in private and bask in the words she wrote—just us.
“Iamcrying,” Aunt Kiersten dabbed her eyes with her napkin. “Oh, our little Betty is in love.”
“I’m going to die. Are we good?” Nate asked. “I am sure Betty would love for us to move the fuck on.”
“Nate!” Mamma admonished.
“No, it’s fine. I would love that,” I agreed.
“Then, Skol, Betty. To many happy years!” Uncle Olav announced.
Dinner continued and relief settled in as the conversation turned from me to anything but.
“Your family is cute,” Mary said. “Don’t apologize or get all weird. You know how Pappa gushes, right?”
“He was so proud of you tonight, Mary.”
“I saw him after the show. He said you moved them down to the pit and made sure they were taken care of. Thank you for that. I had no idea.”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not. He adores you,” Mary said. “He told me not to fuck it up with you.”
Her words shocked me. I knew Erik liked me, but I didn’t anticipate that he was so invested in our relationship. I never made such an impression on a parent. I knew how much Mary’s dad meant. Knowing he appreciated and cared about me mattered more than I expected.
I assured, “You haven’t. You won’t fuck it up.”
“I’m serious, Bets. He knows I’m my own worst enemy. I am going to try to get out of my own way.” She squeezed my knee. “I love you, Betty, even if sometimes I have no idea what I am doing. You make me feel old at times, but, young, too. And you never fail to show up when I need you. I struggle to feel worthy… and maybe I don’t say it in the most convenient ways, but I do love you, Betty.”
I cried. “It’s been a confusing evening, but… thanks for riding it out with me. I love you so much.”
