Astrid and I did a bit once we returned. I tried to fake it the best I could, but I couldn’t help but picture Mary in the wings. Was she nervous? Scared? Empowered? I’d know in only a minute, but waiting felt like torture. Finally, we were done. Astrid turned and nodded. It was time for me to introduce them.
“And for the second time tonight—and hopefully the last,” I said. “The Zamboneys.”
We stepped off stage as the camera flipped to the band. My heart was in my throat as the lights came up. Unlike before, she faced away from the crowd—as she did in their submission video. Her voice rang with the first words of “Justice”, and I knew she would nail it. She was back.
Mary spun, intensity high. Her face was defiant, not giving even a bit of insight into her stress level. For three minutes of perfection, Mary seemed to block it all from her memory. I didn’t know how she managed it, but she could put on a show like nothing else mattered. The crowd reacted with the highest energy.
As I watched the performance from beside the stage, my eyes drifted to Mary’s family and the kiss-and-cry. Erik danced in his chair. Someone gave him a Swedish flag alongside the Union flag he stole from the table. His pride spoke volumes and encouraged the reaction of the rest of those in the pit.
Everyone rode a high, cheering Mary in her hour of need. Sweden swayed along. Norway hooted. Germany did a weird head bob. Even the pot and pan band got into it. But even with this, I noted that Alia, Jason, and Max were all missing. None had returned to their seats. Their entourage was going wild for Mary.
I wondered what any of it meant as Mary sang out her last note, strong and assertive, but didn’t have time. She threw her fist upwards, then bowed, and turned to the band who were living it up on their own. Together, I knew the Zamboneys made history. I knew Mary triumphed.
Then, my world came crashing down again.
My detail appeared swiftly by my side, popping out of nowhere before the Zamboneys were even off the stage.
The lead security officer barked, “Ma’am, I need you to come with me. It’s an emergency.”
Chapter 48
Damage Control
MARY
“The best revenge is living rent-free in your head. Why can’t you see?” I sang until I felt like I might cry.
Because we made it. For years I fought the feeling that I couldn’t move the boulder up hill. Then, I did. As I sang, I watched people dance. I saw the Swedish entourage cheering from the front row. I watched my dad light up as I lived a dream I never thought would come true.
Still breathless, I pulled out my ear and listened to the deafening cheers. This recognition moved beyond me to the other people along for this ride. I worked hard to give my band the best shot at a win. I lived it up for my mom, a woman who would have given anything to be in my boots on this very stage. I danced joyfully for my teenage self because when she ran, she was sure she’d never be back. I sang my heart out for my present self, vowing not to back down to an abuser.
Then, as I dropped my mic for the last time and the lights dimmed, I looked for one more person—the woman who gave me the validation needed to return to this stage. I wanted toflash her a smile and feel the pride vibrating through her. I longed to feel how I madeherfeel with my performance. Unfortunately, Betty and her co-host were gone. I told myself I’d see her soon enough as we left the stage, waiting the hour to hear our fate from the jury.
“That was a world-beater,” Barry patted my back. “Damn, woman! You channeled that rage!”
“I poured it all out.”
“Don’t dump the tank yet. You’ve got finals in two days,” AJ called, following. “But that was one hell of a performance.”
As we walked, I sucked down a bottle of water. A group in suits and dresses passed and pulled into a room. A door slammed. I furrowed my brow and turned to our handler. The hair stood up on my neck. I knew it was the jury. Thinking about their deliberations reminded me of Max and our near miss. Suddenly, it wasn’t about our chance in the finals, it was the fear over what happened with Max. What if they didn’t find anything? And what if he was still around to destroy our hopes in the finals?
“Hey, what’s that about?” I asked the escorting PA.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“That was the jury, though?” I asked in Swedish, as if somehow this would change the outcome.
In Norwegian, she responded, “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
I turned to my band. “Is everyone okay?”
“We’re good, babes. Areyouokay?” Alicia read my face.
I didn’t answer, realizing there was one person I hadn’t spotted. “Where’s Bets?”
I immediately regretted using her nickname.
“No clue. I’m sure she’s busy,” Alicia said. “Now, liven up. We survived. She’ll see you soon enough.”
