Page 51 of Daddy's Reluctant Queen

It’safter lunch and I left Luka in his room to catch up on his reading. As I walk down the hallways, I suddenly realize the normal rhythms of the house are different. I can hear the movements of the staff downstairs in the kitchen, cleaning up after us and going about the process of planning dinner. I can even hear some of them in the living room, talking as they clean.

What I don’t hear are Titus’s movements. If I’m out of my room around this time, he’s usually somewhere in the house. Typically, I hear the bass of his voice through the walls or pick up the scent of his cologne. Sometimes, I’ll even hear his footfalls across the marble floors.

Today, there’s none of that. There’s not even the vaguest sense of his being home.

The smart thing to do right now is to go back to my room. I should really keep my head down from this point on, all things considered.

I should. But then again, I’ve always been really bad at doing things that I should be doing.

I can’t shake the feeling that Titus has changed his mind about me. Or he’s at least considering a change of course with me. I sort of feel like it’s in my best interests to find out where his head is at so I can be prepared. That would be the intelligent move, would it not?

The two most important places in this house for him are his office and his bedroom and I’m closest to his bedroom, so…

I change direction and leave the hallway that leads to my bedroom and into the main hallway. I’m not sure which of these doors is his room, but I’m kind of hoping whichever one it is, it’s unlocked. The main hall is the one right before the long hall leading to the landing and I’ll be able to hear anyone who might be coming up the stairs. So very quickly and as quietly as I can, I open the doors and peek into the rooms, one by one.

The first two doors are unfurnished rooms. Just blank walls and untouched carpets. A couple of them have beds in them without sheets. It’s laughable that he lives in a house large enough to have rooms that he’s never bothered to pay any attention to.

I get to the third door and turn the knob. It opens and I get a whiff of his cologne—sweet and musky with a little twist of Bergamot. The only other scent I smell on my sheets at night. The room itself is all him. The bed is huge with plush pillows anda white comforter that looks more mountain range than blanket. The headboard has scenes of ships and ancient looking Russian cities carved in it. The whole thing looks like something out of a museum.

Hell, for all I know, it is something out of a museum.

The rest of his room looks a little Spartan, all things considered. A dresser made from the same wood as the bed frame, though there aren’t any intricate scenes from Russian history carved into it. Two wooden nightstands on either side of the bed, one side with an alarm clock, a glass half empty with water, and a book. I walk over and glance at the book to see the title is in Russian. It readsNightwatch. Hmm. A book about vampires that was popular around the time I was born.

I walk around the room and note a desk in the far corner by one of the windows. If there’s anything to find, it would definitely be there.

I sit down at the desk and start opening the drawers. Nothing in the first couple except paper, pens, a few utility bills…

The middle drawer is locked. Weird. I don’t have my safety pin on me, but there must be something in here that I can pick this lock with. I look up at the desktop, over the calendar blotter and to the small cup full of pens.

The handle on a ballpoint is crude, but it’ll do in a pinch. I find one and break the handle off, then go about the task of picking the lock.

This drawer is full of letters. I pick up one of the topmost ones. The notebook paper has started to turn yellow with age. The little blue lines are fading a little, but the blue pen that the author used to write still sticks out.

Titus,

I’ve been thinking about you since you left this morning. Well, I’ve been thinking about the conversation we had. I should probably tell you that the last thing I was going to do is write this letter to you, but this is probably safer than texting or calling you. Paper can be destroyed. Digital lasts forever.

If you recall, I asked if you thought this relationship was worth all the trouble it could cause if we ever went public. I probably shouldn’t have asked you that expecting any kind of answer. I mean, this whole thing started as just fun, right? The two of us messing around in broom closets at the courthouse or in bathrooms at the bar… It’s all been very exciting.

Things have changed, though, haven’t they? Maybe I’m crazy in thinking so, but I feel like things aren’t the same between us as they were before. I’m thinking that you might feel something deeper for me than you’re ready to admit, and that’s a problem. A real problem for both of us.

You asked me and I didn’t have an answer. I’m going to give you one now. If we went public, I would be impeached. Disbarred. My entire legal career would go up in flames. I’ll be honest. I don’t know if I can give up everything that I’ve worked for.

But you? They don’t just fire Bratva bosses, do they? It’s a lot more serious than that.

I think that before we go any further, we need to talk this through. Fearlessly. It doesn’t have to be today, but it should be soon. We can’t go on without discussing what comes next, if anything.

Call me when you’re ready. Until then.

— Angela

P.S. I meant what I said last night, even if you can’t say it back.

I pauseover the last line, then look at the other letters. These are letters from a past relationship. Luka’s mother, maybe? I pick up another one.

Titus,

So, that man that you were with today was the Ignat you talk about? He’s not at all what I expected and exactly what I expected all at the same time. The way he looked at me was telling, though. I’m sure he’s told you that he’s not a fan of us being together.