Page 47 of The Marine's Homecoming

"And he said you'd come down here and drink Frank's beer…" She chuckles again, and her arm reaches over, bumping into my chest as she offers me more candy. "Is that one true?"

I pull a piece of licorice from the box and close my eyes, remembering how Nick would badger me into taking beer out of Dad's office fridge. We'd each have one or two and be so tipsy back then, but we never really overdid it until we were much older.

"Yeah, it's true…" Then the night he died, we were both so stupid. "Nick did love his beer."

Hannah gets quiet for a minute. In the light from the window, all I can see is her silhouette, but I see her head is down. It looks like she's thinking, or maybe crying, though I don't hear sniffling or anything.

I know talking about Nick must not be easy for her, especially with me. I know how she blames me for what happened, and she never once heard my side of things. In court when it was my turn to tell my side of the events, she wasn't there, and neither were her parents. It must've been too painful for all three of them to hear. It was excruciating for me too.

"Luke," she says softly, and I grunt in response. "Tell me what happened that night…"

For a second I think she's upset, that she's looking for a reason to rekindle that anger she's held over my head for more than a decade. But then her hand slides into mine and her fingers weave between mine and I let my shoulders relax.

My eyes stay fixed on the light dancing on the water, but I tell her everything I remember. "It was late that night. Nick and I and a few friends were south of the bluffs in the clearing in the woods." My throat constricts and I have to swallow around the knot. "We ran out of beer, which one of the guys brought… His older brother bought it for us that time."

God, I haven't had to relive this moment since that night and I've pushed it away so many times. I don't want to dredge up this painful past, but Hannah deserves answers. And maybe now that she's grown, she's ready to hear them.

"Anyway, I wasn't drinking because I knew I'd driven Dad's jeep down there and I didn't want him pissed at me for drinking and driving. So Nick insisted I drive him back to the marina to steal Dad's beer from his fridge." I leave out the part where we argued about how much I didn't want to, because I don't want her to think I’m changing the story today to make myself look better. What happened happened, and I can't change the past.

"So, you went for beer?" Hannah's fingers curl around mine as she asks, and I feel my breath being sucked out of me.

"We did…" I sigh and hold her hand more tightly too. She's not the only one having to bear through this. "I was going about forty on the dirt road and Nick was being loud. He turned the radio up so loud, I couldn't talk over it, and he stood up on his seat.He wouldn’t sit when I shouted at him, and he wouldn’t put his seatbelt on."

The night flashes in my mind so crystal clear, it's like it happened yesterday. The tire hit a boulder in the path that I couldn't see in the dark and the truck rolled to its side. Nick was killed instantly while I dangled in the seat by my seatbelt screaming his name. I got out, but we had no service and I had to hike up to the main road bloody and sore to get a line out. By the time the ambulance got there, Nick was just gone.

"And he died…" she mumbles, and I definitely hear crying now.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry. I should've never driven without him in that seat belt. I know if he'd been sitting down buckled in, he'd still be here and…"

It shocks me when she crawls onto my lap and wraps her arms around my shoulders. She sobs, her whole body shaking as she clings to me, and I hold her. Tears prick my eyes too. It's been a very long time, and once I enlisted, I never shed another tear over this, but seeing how badly it's hurt her, I feel like the worst human being alive.

I didn't kill Nick, but I certainly didn't stop him from dying, either. There's no way anyone could've foreseen that accident, but we both made so many bad choices. The drinking and sneaking off into the night—stealing Dad's beer, and of course, not being safe in the car. All of it culminated in the loss of Nick's life that was both tragic and traumatizing.

"I'm sorry, Hannah. I never meant for that to happen."

"I know," she whimpers, sniffling into my neck. I feel her tears moisten my skin and hold her more tightly until she pulls back and shoves the hair out of her face.

"I forgive you," she says softly, face only inches from mine. "Because I know you didn’t do anything wrong."

"Hannah," I start, but her lips press to mine firmly. She kisses me gently, then parts her lips, letting me search her. This is so different from the hunger we feel every time we're alone. It's more raw and intimate, like she's finally letting me have her fully. And she tastes like the sticky sweet candy we've been eating.

It's not the right time or place to take her again, when she's so vulnerable and open with me, but God, I want to. Until lights flash outside the window on the pier and I see men walking. I push her back an inch, focusing beyond the window into the night, and I can't believe we missed the boat approaching.

"Hannah," I whisper, nodding at the window. She still clings to me, nipping at my lower lip and trying to get me to kiss her more, but I grab her hips firmly. "Hannah," I say again, this time louder so she hears my tone. "We've got company."

She slides off my lap to stand by the window, and I join her as I rearrange the tent in my jeans. We watch in silence as at least seven men disembarkThe Cut Baitand use flashlights to navigate the pier. They walk single file up pier two toward the bridge, then off beyond my office to the parking lot where they climb in a truck and take off.

"They're going to get a van or something to move their freight," she breathes, still whispering.

Turning, I start for the door. "Yeah, they are, and who knows how long they'll be gone. I've got to get down there and find out what's on that boat." I'm already moving, wishing I had a weapon of some sort. Those men were packing, and they wereready for a fight. If they come back and I'm unarmed, seven to one are horrible odds.

"I'm going with you," she hisses, tiptoeing over to me. I still hear her sniffling, though, and the idea of her getting caught up in this terrifies me.

"No way," I say firmly, not even trying to be quiet. "What if they come back? Or what if someone is on that boat? We didn't see Dorsey among them. He could be there waiting. I can’t let you get hurt, Hannah. Nick would kill me."

She huffs and stomps her foot, and I instantly know I'm being overruled, but it won't stop me from resisting her.

"Look, I'm not a child. They could just as easily come to your office and find me here too. I'm going with you, so shut up and open the door." She reaches past me and I grab her wrist, holding her back.