My mom nods and pulls out a tissue. “I just can’t stop thinking about poor Dani.”
I want to curl up and die.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to make it right.”
“Oh my God.” Mom runs a hand over her forehead. “Dani must have been so scared. And I didn’t know—I didn’t help her at brunch. I can’t imagine her sitting there, wondering if anyone was going to help her. Save her from her violent kidnapper.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I whisper.
“Wasn’t like that?” My mom is incredulous. “Kid, that’s exactly what your father said in court—that it wasn’t like that, that we wanted to be there with him, that he gave us children so we wouldn’t be lonely.”
I feel the tears, cold and wet, on my face. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I love her, though. I actually do.”
“Oh my God, kid, listen to yourself. You can’t love Dani. You can’t fall in love with a girl you kidnap off the street. That’s not how this works, kid. God.” She tangles a hand in her hair.
“I wanted you to be different. I wanted this to bedifferent. I thought you weregood. I always told people that you were a good kid. You were the one I didn’t have to worry about. You always just did what you were supposed to do. Frank would try to catch you, try to see if you were lying—he never found anything. I would always tell him, ‘Lay off him. Graham’s a good kid. He’s good.’”
“I never was. I was always going to turn into this,” I tell her sadly.
We stare at each other. I know all she can see is my dad, is Stuart Richmond.
“You should have given me away, like Siobhan did with Grayson,” I tell her quietly. “Never seen me again.”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t send you away after everything. That wasn’t right.” She wipes her eyes.
“It wouldn’t have been so bad,” I whisper. “I think it would have been for the best.” I shrug.
“At least then he and I could have been together. I could have been with Grayson. With my brother. At least I wouldn’t have felt so alone. I know I didn’t belong here—everyone could see it. I ruined your family, and I ruined your life. I did try. I promise I tried so hard not to end up like Dad, like Stuart, but I just couldn’t stop it. I tried, Mom. I tried.”
She can’t even look at me.
“But it’s not about me. I know that.” I take a breath. “I’m not the victim here. I know that. I’m going to… I’ll fix it. I’ll make it right. I’ll go to jail. I’ll lock myself back up. I never should have been freed. You and Frank should have just left me down there.”
My mom looks so sad. Bereft.
I hate that I did that to her. Hate that I hurt her, that I just hurt her every day.
“I deserved to be left down there…” I trail off.
My mom turns away from me slowly and heads back into the house.
“I know it doesn’t make it different. It doesn’t change anything,” I call after her. Apologies are meaningless. That’s what her parents said after the trial. That much I remember.
My mom doesn’t say anything—just reaches for the door and slowly shuts it.
I turn back to my car.
Sit in it.
The car I kidnapped Dani in.
I should burn it.
I try to decide if I should just head up to the mountain house. Lexi’s been sending me photos. The place looks like a dump.
Or should I go to my penthouse first and pack? I don’t know if I trust Spencer to pack up what I need.
I’m exhausted. I want to sleep. I want Dani.
