“Standards?” my mother scoffs. “He was on an online-dating forum. Of course he was no good. Men you meet online are predators. They’re not family men. They won’t ever be there for you. You can’t trust men you meet online. Graham wasn’t good enough for you.”
“I didn’t meet him online,” I admit.
“Honestly, Dani.” Mom picks the comb back up. “You could have just told me instead of concocting this scheme with your grandmother and Piper. I swear.”
I sniffle. “No, I mean…” I think about the check. “Never mind. Yeah, you’re right. I won’t do online dating anymore.”
Mom beams at me. “That’s my girl. Now we’re going shopping, and we’re going to go get your hair done, and then you’re going to hit the social circuit, go to some networking events, and meet a nice young man.”
“I can’t. I’m tired.” My shoulders sag.
“Dani, if your grandmother can pick up men in her condition, you can too.”
“She doesn’t need a man. Graham’s going to come crawling back to her. Men’s dicks have the memory of a goldfish. He’s going to forget whatever it was that made him decide to dump you as soon as he wants some of that.” Gran gyrates her hips.
“Dani deserves better than to be used for sex.” Mom purses her mouth.
“No, that’s exactly what she deserves.”
“She needs a man who wants to settle down and have a family and take care of her. Now, Sloane’s son just got a divorce, and he’s single and ready to mingle!”
“Let’s find the positives,”Piper tells me as I lie on the couch, drinking Costco wine—which is surprisingly high quality—and humiliate myself with rewatches of the morning show where everyone learned I’m a virgin and my family is insane. “I bet now you’ll get kicked off the bridal party.”
My phone dings.
“Is it Graham?”
“No, worse. Colette.”
“Can I please block her?”
“Absolutely not.” My mom buzzes in. “We have to salvage what social capital we have.”
“I thought we were fleeing to the Catskills.”
I try to pour the rest of the wine into my mug that says, “Coffee keeps me busy until it’s time for wine!”but the bottle is empty.
“Did you drink all my wine?” I hiccup.
“We have the rehearsal dinner and the wedding this weekend,” Mom reminds me. “We can’t skip town. What will people think?”
“Are you sure they want us there?” Piper wrinkles her nose.
“I profusely apologized to Vivienne,” Mom informs us.
“Why are you apologizing? Her daughter is the one who started this mess,” Gran demands.
“Vivienne assured me that Colette was just trying to help. She was worried for Graham.” Mom swans out to answer the phone—another concerned neighbor.
“Block her,” Piper hisses at me. “Do you see this unhinged text she sent? About how she’s the victim and you embarrassed her and how she wants you to basically be her on-call assistant for the next ten years to make it up to her.”
“Mom is right—that’s all I have.”
I feel guilty as Piper makes a defeated noise.
“I need to stop the bleeding. Graham’s done with me, if he ever really cared about me. It was Stockholm syndrome. I’m the one who made him have a relationship with me in the first place. He probably realized that he’s better off without me.”
“No way! Graham loves you. You said he told you he loves you.”
