“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to encourage him.”
“You’re not encouraging him. You just need him aroused enough to send you a photo or something of him jacking off on them. You know men—they can’t resist sending a dick pic. And then you can forward it to Graham and be like… someone thinks I’m worthy of being fucked. Shoot, you wouldn’t even have to get dressed or leave your couch. I bet he’d scale the walls to come get that coochie.”
“I really can’t have Mom walking in on that.”
“Then go to his penthouse. You can’t keep stalling. Oh, hi! Mrs. Belmont!” Piper waves to Colette’s mom.
Vivienne does a judgmental sweep of her eyes over the decorations that Piper and I spent all night putting up.
“This is… quaint.”
“We’re going for a French garden party type feel. Very rustic.”
“It will look great in photos, Mrs. Belmont!” Piper chirps.
“Is this cheesecloth?” She makes a sour face.
“It’s antique lace, Mrs. Belmont.” From my own collection, thank you very much, that I’ve been saving for years for my own wedding.
I smooth the pink-and-white tea dress with the big yellow flower print. I’m wearing an apron, but I’m clumsy with food, and I don’t have anything else to change into.
Colette is visibly unhappy with the party when she and the Girl Squad arrive.
“It’s a bridal tea,” I remind her desperately. “We’re also throwing the couples’ shower at the Yacht Bar. That will be very fancy. This is supposed to be like a cozy English afternoon tea.”
I hold up the books I checked out of the library for research. “See? Victorian afternoon tea. This is a very fine muslin tablecloth. We have the antique china, imported tea…”
“God, stop being weird—I love it, okay?” Colette tosses her hair. She doesn’t. It’s clear by the tone of her voice.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t expect anything else from you. You’ve never been in a relationship before—you’re basically a newbie intern to the ways of marriage. So thank you for trying. I know you did your best. Now, where am I sitting?”
“At the head table, of course,” I tell her anxiously.
I’m a bridesmaid because our mothers are friends, so I don’t get to sit next to Piper. She and Gran are hyping it up at a tablefar in the corner, while I have to sit next to Hannah at the end of the head table.
“That was sooo nice of you,” Greta tells me, “to DIY all of this for Colette. I’m sure she’ll do the same for me.”
I sip my boiling hot tea from the delicate cup and pray that I don’t drop it on myself.
“You’re doing way more as a bridesmaid than you need to be,” Maya tells me. “I mean, Hannah’s the maid of honor, and Colette’s sister is matron of honor, and I know Hannah doesn’t even know what’s going on.”
Hannah giggles. “She’s right, I don’t!”
“But you don’t need Colette to plan anything when you and Graham get married,” Nora adds. “He has so much money he’ll hire you a wedding planner.”
“Graham would pay for a much nicer one. It would be super high-end.” Maya nods.
“Nothing is too expensive for his boo!” Greta sips her champagne. “He’d probably literally fly us to London for a bridal tea in a castle.”
They giggle. Colette looks even more furious as she overhears us.
“I let Dani help plan my wedding as a favor,” Colette tells the table. “Dani loves to do wedding stuff. It’s because she doesn’t think she’ll ever have a wedding. She’s still a virgin.”
“Oh!” Colette’s sister gasps. “I thought you were dating that billionaire. How are you still a virgin?”
Now the whole table is looking at me.
“Oh, well… I’m not, I—”
