Page 75 of Until Death or Defeat

I adjust my shoulders, straightening myself as I look back up at him. “I’m not faking, okay? I don’t know what I feel. It’s much easier to think of the problems at hand because I...don’t know if I’m going to see him and get emotional yet or if he even cares. Maybe it won’t change anything.”

“Very polished of you,solnishko. You already know how I feel about it. I’ll make sure you’re taken there and the men won’t leave without you.” I’m sure he sees my expression and continues with a sigh. “You do not get to throw yourself into anything anymore. I’m here, and my job now is to keep you safe. I told you to stop being so trusting. Until we know for sure, that’s final.”

“Fine. I don’t care. I’m used to all your henchmen being everywhere they’re not supposed to be now.”

“I already made sure no one has access to the house anymore, what more can I do, Giselle?”

“Nothing, I should go. I figured I’d stop by that old Italian bakery downtown first because when we had family dinners, my uncle brought us those apple fritters from there, they were my favorite.”

“Go. But if something feels off you do not stay, just get out. Got it?” I scoff, and he puts his hand on my head. “I mean it, Giselle. I won’t be there to watch you.”

“Okay okay, jeez.” His eyes burn into mine, and it’s hard not to feel it. The sick skip of my heart when he uses them for good and not evil. Fuck, he’s so good at both.

“I’m going with Roman and Maxim to see what we can figure out about the old autopsy. I neededto tell you that we might not find it. If your uncle doesn’t know anything, we will hit a wall. Unless...”

“Unless, what?”

“Unless we can get real information on her death, we’d be at square one. No witnesses, no accurate report?—”

“So what are you suggesting?”

“It isn’t my suggestion. Maxim knows someone who used to do forensics and has a private mortuary?—”

“Sorry—hold the fuck up. Are you suggestingexhumingmy mother from her grave and having someone dissect her?”

“I don’t know,solnishko,” he says it gently as his hand rests on my head. “I’m only telling you our options. You want to be a detective and solve this, don’t you?”

I do. I want it more than anything. I can feel my throat tightening, and I try to breathe. How can I let them dig up my mother’s grave? Isn’t that too much? But he’s right, how would we get any information on her murder otherwise?

“I don’t want to disturb her,” I somehow choke out, my eyes watering.

His hands immediately find my cheeks, holding them. “Don’t cry, breathe. This is important, you know that right?”

I nod quickly trying not to let them spill.

“I will be there. I won’t let anything happen. If it’s necessary, I’ll handle it. I just wanted to warn you what we might have to do. You text me immediately if he gives you any information, and I can make it all stop. I am doing all of this for you, only you. You know that?”

I nod again and take in a breath.

“You don’t have to think about this. I’ll only tell you what information it helped find. When morning comes, she will be back safe and in the same condition, no one will know. We won’t speak of it again.”

I nod again, shaking my hands at my sides to let theanxiety out and keep my tears from coming through. Mom needs me to be strong right now. She will understand why we’re doing this. Once I figure out who killed her and get her justice, my father and everyone will see how capable I am too. I might really save my family. Plus, if we eliminate any threat, I’ll get Artem off my back, and I can try to go back to normal.

If I can do this for you, Mom, will you forgive me for being so cold to you the last time I saw you?

18

Artem

Idon’t think I could have ever imagined overseeing a grave-digging, but here I am. I’d like nothing more than to be following her to her uncle’s, but I promised her I would handle this myself. This is a duty I must endure, and a necessary evil.

I didn’t lie; this is for her. But I can’t help but have my own selfish reasons for trying to solve this. If it really wasn’t her uncle and we find out that we suddenly have a faceless assassin roaming free, I have to handle them. I can’t have them coming back for her.

I don’t deserve her until I fix this. Until I can eliminate all the fucking threats in the world against her, I will gladly spend every night digging up any grave. I will get my hands dirty for her, so dirty that not even bleach can fix me, if it means she will be alive and clean. Even once this is solved...I am always looking out for the men who killed Sara. The men who ripped the world from my fucking arms. I will never make that mistake again, will never let Giselle go somewhere unsafe. And once I find them...

“Artem, we have to lift her coffin up and out.” Roman calls out to me, and I sigh.

I jump into the hole again, where he and Maxim have her tilted slightly so I can get my arms underneath. We hoist upwards, using our strength to lift her high enough that the coffin hits the edge of the ground above and push so it can slide fully on land.