We spent the morning delaying our duties, trading tearful laughs and secrets, and when the time for lunch came, I wrapped her hand in mine, her soul in mine, and a part of my heart—the part thatripped when Ella had left—began to patch itself together.
I’d never expected this to happen, to find a friend in a snarling face. But my life seemed determined not to go the way it was supposed to.
Maybe it was time I let it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I found David sitting beneath the branches of a great oak, biting into an apple he’d snuck from one of the orchard’s trees. He held another out as I approached him.
“Actually, I was hoping we could talk.”
He patted the ground next to him, and I joined him, leaving a careful gap between us.
David examined a scuff on the apple’s surface, rubbing it against his uniform. “You work with the royal family more than I.”
“Yes...”
He took another bite, his crunch grating against my ears. He reached for me, pulling me closer, when I wished nothing more than to stay distant. “Why does Prince Thomas keep glaring at me?”
I sucked in a breath. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “I’m as baffled as you. I don’t remember angering a prince recently—well, not to his face. But I guess when you’re a royal you can just take your anger out on random commonfolk.”
My mouth ran dry. “I’m not sure.”
He finished his final bite, tossing the apple core so it bounced off a nearby trunk and thunked on the ground. A squirrel that hadtucked itself behind fallen branches skittered up a tree.
“I have something to tell you,” I said.
“Anything, my love.”
I forced the words from my lips. “I don’t want to get married.”
His whole body stiffened beside me. I shifted away from him.
“Is it cold feet?” His eyes searched mine intently. “Was it Kelara getting in your head?”
“What? No,” I said. “It was me. I don’t want to get married yet. I don’t want to settle down and have children and stay at home and…”
“But that was our dream.”
“That was your dream, David. You just pushed it onto me.”
He dragged his hand down his face, leaving red marks from where fingers had dug into his cheeks. “I can’t believe this.”
“I’m sorry, David. I’m so, so sorry.”
His hold on me released. Something in me grieved at its loss, knowing I’d never feel his arms around me again.
“Do you love me? Truly?”
“Yes,” I said, and for the first time, the words, the truth, came easily. “We’ve been together for almost two years. And you’ve been good to me. So good.” My hand moved to cradle his face. “But I want more than what you’re offering. I want magic and studies. I want to make something of myself.”
“You don’t have to accomplish all of that to be important, Lyra.”
“I know,” I said. “You saw me as important without any of it. That’s why I love you.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
